My secret love
by HungerGames1
Summary: 'Maybe I really am going insane, but I love him.' We all know Peeta fell in love with Katniss. Did you ever think that maybe Madge fell in love with Peeta? This story explores the possibility. Katniss still ends up with Peeta in the end, but what happens to Madge? Will she find someone else, or will she forever be in love with Peeta Mellark? Where does Gale come into this mix?
1. My secret love

A/N-Hi! This chapter is set before the first Hunger Games in Madge's point of view. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer- I don't own the Hunger Games

I amble into the bakery while the tiny bell fills the room with its tinkling. I casually pull my blonde curls over my shoulder out of habit. There he is, watching me behind the counter. I offer him a small smile. He smiles back. It takes my breath away.

"Hello," Peeta says to my frozen figure. I smile again and remind myself to breathe. I take a few more steps to him.

"Hey," I force out. He waits patiently for me to say something, but my voice refuses to work. I swallow and force my eyes onto the pastries. Crap. What was I supposed to buy? I went over it a hundred times just in case this happened. Was I supposed to get bread? I don't know! I can't focus with his eyes watching me like that. Crap, say something!

"What's new?" Good job, Madge. Oh, crap. I'm talking in third person now? Shoot, I've heard about people like that. People call them-

"Business is slow. Nothing really new, though. Anything new with you," he replies, interrupting my inner monologue.

"Not really," I respond. We fall into silence. I rack my brain for any good conversation topics. How's the bakery? No, he already told me. How are your friends? I don't really care. How's your family doing? That seems like an innocent enough question. "How's your family?"

"They're fine. How's yours?"

"My father is fine, but my mother is still sick," I respond, my mood immediately deflating. My mother's getting worse. She's getting much worse.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he says with genuine concern. Oh, no. Great going, Madge. Way to get this conversation going downhill fast.

"She'll be fine," I try to say convincingly. He nods his head. I know he doesn't believe me, but he lets it go. I should try to get this conversation back on track. "My family is in dying need of some Mellark bread," I say dramatically as I lay my hand on my forehead. He chuckles. "Would you be kind enough to get us out of this terrible situation?"

"I don't know," he teases. The conversation is turning up!

"Would my chances be better if I begged?"

"Probably…"

"Peeta Mellark…" I say while laughing with him.

"How badly do you want that bread?" Do I actually have to beg in front of Peeta Mellark? Is he kidding?

"Seriously?"

"I am totally seriously serious."

"Fine," I sigh. I get on my hands and knees. That might be overkill, but it makes for a good joke later. "Peeta Mellark you are the ultimate baker anyone has ever met. Your bread is the best I have ever tasted. Then again, I have never had any other bread. You get my point. Oh, please, Peeta! I need your bread! I'm going insane without it! Look at me! If you could find it in your heart, I would be-," I trail off as the chiming from the tiny bell fills the room again. Crap.

I look over my shoulder to find Gale in the doorway with an amused expression. "What are you begging for, Undersee," he asks, trying to keep from laughing. Perfect crappy timing. Could anything make this worse?

I quickly scurry to my feet. Peeta has the decency to keep a straight face on. Mine is set in a scowl. I try to change the subject quickly. "You think by now you would realize my name is _Madge_, Gale."

"Who knew the mayor's daughter would have to beg."  
"That's enough Gale," Peeta says forcefully. I gaze at him. He defended me. _He_ defended _me! _

"Yeah," I say, trying to sound tough but miserably failing.

"What do you want," Peeta asks, trying to change the subject.

"Trade," he responds while holding his game bag into view. I frown. I have to admit I've always been a big animal lover. The raw meat does explain the stench, though, or maybe it's Gale. It's probably Gale.

"I'll go get some money." He hurries to the back of the bakery out of my sight. I watch him.

I try to avoid conversation with Gale. He doesn't like me at all. He resents me because I'm the mayor's daughter. Gosh, like I _want_ to be the mayor's daughter. My father's never home. My mother can't even leave the bed without help. No one wants to be my friend because of who my father is. I never wanted this.

The only person who really is willing to be my friend is Katniss. Some people are nice to me like Delly and Peeta, but Katniss is the only person who sits with me at lunch and talks to me in the hallways. I'm so happy I have her in my life.

If Katniss is friends with this guy, then maybe there's something in him that is worth getting to know. Maybe it's because I'm so happy Peeta defended me, or maybe it's the mere idea of how much Katniss means to me that I decide to start a conversation with him. "How are you?"

"Nearly starving to death, but you seem to be healthy. That's all that really matters right?" Ouch. I try not to show how much that comment hurt.

"Only you, Gale Hawthorne, can turn an innocent question into something horrible," I hiss.

"The truth is the truth whether you want to believe it or not," he growls back.

"It's not my fault! You think I wanted this," I yell, suddenly very angry. I just noticed how close we drifted to each other. "I never asked for this!"

"What could possibly be wrong with your life," he snarls back.

"Well, first of all my mother is dying," I hiss. I see him soften in his expression, but I decide to keep going. "My father is _never_ home. Nobody gives me the time of day because of my father. People like _you._ Do you want me to keep going?"

"I didn't know," he murmurs.

"Of course you didn't. You assumed," I hiss. "I could've assumed you were a worthless Seam rat, but I didn't."

The conversation falls into silence. I know he feels bad, but he'll get over it. I turn around and am faced with a surprised looking Peeta. My eyes go very wide. How much of that did he hear?

"I have the money," he says as he holds out his hand that is filled with coins. Gale strides up to him casually and whispers something that I can't hear. The comment seems to make Peeta confused. He looks at me then back at Gale. What did Gale say about me?

"Thanks," Peeta says as they exchange goods. Gale nods and saunters out the bakery door. The bell fills the room with its familiar ringing.

"I'm sorry about your mother," he says once Gale is out of sight.

"It's okay." What should I say? I _really _want to know what Gale told him, but I don't think this is the time. "How much did you hear?"

"I can hear pretty well from the back," he answers, avoiding the question.

"Oh," I respond. My face immediately goes red. I don't want him to think I'm bad tempered or a brat. It was Gale's fault!

"Don't worry about it," he replies. "Gale had it coming."

I smile wide and he does too. He is such a great guy. "Can I still get that bread?"

"Maybe…"

"Seriously?"

"I'm just kidding," he says with laugh. He goes in the back of the bakery and retrieves a loaf of bread.

"Here you go," he says as he hands me a warm loaf of Mellark bread.

"Thanks," I say as I hand him some coins.

We stand there for what seems like forever. I don't want to leave. Maybe I'm just very hopeful, but I don't think he wants me to leave either.

I wait and wait for him to say _something_, but he doesn't. "I should probably get going."

"I would ask you to say, but today is my day in the bakery."

"Oh," I say, even though I already knew. That's why I specifically came today. I wanted to see him.

"I'll see you around?"

"Definitely," I say while I turn on my heels and walk out the door. I hear the bell ring as I start my journey back home.

I thought about my visit today all the way home. I've watched him from a distance for as long as I can remember. I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm so scared he might not feel the same way. Maybe I really am going insane, but I love him. Too bad he'll probably never know.

A/N- What did you think? Review, please!


	2. Just friends

A/N- Heyo! This chapter is set a little after the first one. Enjoy!

I fix my hair over my shoulder like I do very often. I take a deep breath and enter the bakery. The bell chimes.

"Hi, Peet-," I am cut off by a terrible sight that makes my blood boil. Turns out Peeta has some…company.

"Hi, Madge," Peeta says, obviously unaware of my discomfort. The girl with the blonde hair like mine glares at me. Peeta doesn't see this, though. She made sure of that.

"Who's this," I ask, trying to appear cheerful.

"This is Cassidy. She's in my history class," Peeta explains. Does he not notice that she's all over him? She's twirling her hair and leaning over the counter to get closer to him. Who does this girl think she is?

"Hi," Cassidy mutters, clearly not wanting me here. Well, too bad. I'm not going anywhere until she leaves.

"Hello, Cassidy," I say as politely as I can.

"Cassidy, this is Madge, my friend." Ouch, that hurt more than I expected it to. I try not to let it show. Cassidy smirks at my expression.

"Oh, I know you. You're the mayor's daughter, right," she asks brightly. I see right through it, though. I think it was supposed to be an offensive comment, but I try to act as if it isn't.

"Yes I am." Can her skirt get any shorter? Can her top get any lower?

"I'm the jeweler's daughter," she says proudly. Who cares?

"Oh." Peeta seems to be sensing the awkward energy. Now he notices? "How are you, Peeta," I ask while walking up to the counter. I try to ignore the hateful glares from Cassidy.

"I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm doing great," I say while twirling my hair like her. Cassidy looks infuriated. I lean over the counter, too, just to make her madder. It works.

"Can I get some bread, please, Peeta," Cassidy asks, trying to turn the attention back to her.

"Sure," he says as he begins to saunter to the back of the bakery. Cassidy grabs his hand before he gets out of her reach.

"Thank you," she says as she releases his hand. What was that? Was that supposed to make me jealous? It worked.

When Peeta is out of sight, I glare at her. She raises her eyebrows with an amused expression. What the…

"You better back off. Peeta's going to ask me out any day now, princess," Cassidy whispers. Princess? Undersee? Where are people coming up with these nicknames?

"Just 'cause you stalk the boy doesn't mean he'll ask you out," I mutter.

"Look who's talking," she hisses. That makes me fall silent.

Peeta appears from behind the bakery and gives her a warm loaf of Mellark bread. She smiles and gives him some coins.

"It's not that much," Peeta says once he counts the coins. He tries to give it back to her, but she refuses.

"Then you'll just have to make it up to me," she replies with a mischievous grin. Peeta gulps. Come on. That's not fair.

"Bye, Peeta," she says while she leaves the bakery. The petite bell rings.

I wait for Peeta to do something, but he doesn't. I decide to interrupt the silence. "Can I have some bread, please?"

"Yeah," he says as he rushes to the back. He looks…conflicted. I smile to myself. He doesn't like Cassidy as much as she thinks he does.

He comes back with another warm loaf of bread.

"Thanks," I say as I give him some coins. I purposely give him some extra. He hands me the loaf.

"Seriously, bread doesn't cost this much."

"Then you'll just have to make it up to me," I say while I bat my eyelashes. His eyes go wide.

"I'm kidding," I say with a laugh. I wish I wasn't…

"Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were serious," he says with a chuckle. Why? What's so wrong with us getting together! Uh, this boy is so infuriating!

"What's up with that girl anyway," I ask, deliberately trying to change the subject.

"I don't know," he says. He sounds desperate. "She shows up _all the time!_ I don't like her _that way_. I don't know how to tell her! I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't want her to get the wrong idea, either! Ugh!"

"Oh, Peeta, she definitely has the wrong idea."

"What?"

"She pretty much told me to back off 'cause you're going to ask her out any day now," I reply with a laugh. She's not the only one with that hope…

"Oh," he moans while he puts his head in his hands. I pat his back comfortingly.

"Don't worry! You can tell her while you 'make it up to her.' I'm sure she'll understand."

"Really?"

"Heck no. She's head over heels for you," I say with a giggle.  
"Please, Madge, I really don't know what to do."

"Don't look at me! I've never dealt with this kind of stuff."

He removes his head from his hands and I remove my head from his back. "Come on! You're a girl! What should I do?"

"Tell her straight up. Tell me when you're going to do it, too. I want to see her face."

"I don't want to hurt her feelings…"

"Trust me, Peeta, you're being too nice. She doesn't deserve your kindness." She doesn't deserve it at _all._

"I guess I should."

"Yeah, you should."

"Yeah."

"I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to be there. I really do want to see her face."

"Why?"

She's trying to steal you from me! You may not know it now, but we're meant for each other. I _love_ you. "I don't know. I don't like her very much." Nice, Madge. You could've ended the confusion right there. You could've told him right there, but you didn't. Dang, I'm thinking in third person again.

"Yeah, she's not a very likable person." This gets a laugh out of both of us.

"I don't know why," I say sarcastically. I know why. She comes in and tries to steal Peeta away from me!

"What do you want to do Sunday?" What? What?! Is that a date?!

"What," I ask, getting a little excited.

"I have to make it up to you," he states. Okay, what does that mean?

"Okay…"

"We'll do something fun together on Sunday."

"Oh." Is that a date? Please say it's a date!

"As friends of course," he responds, seeing my confusion.

"Oh, okay," I say, trying to remain upbeat. He doesn't notice.

"So, what do you want to do?"

"Surprise me," I say as I clutch the bread closer to me. I was _so close_ to getting a date with Peeta. So close yet so far…

"I have to get going. See you Sunday?" I head for the door before I hear his answer. I don't know why I'm so worked up over this, but I am. Stupid teenage hormones.

"Bye," he says to my retreating figure. His voice sounds confused at my sudden mood change. Why can't he just understand?

The bell rings as I scurry out the door.

"Friends," I mutter under my breath. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. "My boyfriend," I whisper. Much better. That's what he'll be after Sunday.

A/N-I hope you liked it! Review, please!


	3. That special Sunday

A/N-Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate it! It means a lot to me! This takes place on that special Sunday. Here's a long one. Enjoy!

Disclaimer-I do not own the Hunger Games

Today is finally the day I get to hang out with Peeta outside of the bakery. I'm not as happy as I know I should be. Maybe it's because we're going as friends. I frown at the thought. That boy has no clue. Does he already know? Is he just trying to be the nice guy he is? I don't know. If I knew he just wants me as a friend maybe it would be better. Maybe I would get over it.

There are moments, though, when I think he feels the same way. The times when his hand lingers on mine more than necessary. The times when his eyes light up when he sees me. The times when he tells me that he missed me. The times when he tells me his secrets. The times when he asks me what's wrong. Maybe it's just that I want him to love me back so much that I'm creating things in my head. Maybe his hand being there was an accident. Maybe his eyes lighting up was all in my head. Maybe he missed his friend. Maybe he wanted to get his secrets off of his back. Maybe I was a wreck and he wanted to know if it had something to do with my mother.

The internal conflict gives me a headache. I pace my room and keep glancing at the clock. We really never did agree on the time. I stormed out before we could.

I lie facedown on my bed and moan. My mother had it much easier. Dad chased _her._ If only I was that lucky. I grab my pillow and scream into it.

I glance at the clock on my wall again. It's 1:00. I mentally scold myself. I have to get up, put on something pretty, and make Peeta Mellark fall in love with me. I scream into my pillow again. Could this get any more impossible?

I decide to think of simpler things. School's out. Yes, I'll think of that. I got straight A's again. Being lonely does have its advantages. All of that extra time is great for studying. Peeta could fill up that extra time…

"Ugh," I groan. What's the worst that could happen? I have a bad time? He doesn't like me _that way? _I should stop being such a baby and just see what happens. Maybe I'll even have a good time.

I get up and mosey to my closet. I scan my clothes. What should I wear? Should I wear something casual? Should I wear something dressy? Maybe I should just wear something in the middle. I'm tired of making decisions.

I pick out a pretty short skirt paired with a simple top. I put the clothes on. I look at myself in the mirror that sits next to my closet. The light blue of the skirt matches the color of my walls. I like the color blue. It reminds me of the sky. The sky is endless. You can look at it for miles and miles. I think I like the sky so much because it reminds me of freedom.

I gaze at my outfit in the mirror for a long time. It just doesn't look right! I glance at the clock again. It's 1:30 now. I should hurry up. I don't want Peeta to think I ditched him or worse. I don't want him to show up when I look like such a mess.

I rummage through my closet and find a dress. Would a dress be too fancy? I don't even care anymore. I put it on. I stare at myself in the mirror again. I look much better.

The dress really shows off my curves. It's tight, which is good. It also has black and white stripes repeating across the whole dress. It's pretty fancy, but I don't really have anything else to wear.

I decide to pair it with a pair of black flats to dress it down. I keep glancing in the mirror. I look great, but I feel as if I should do something more. I guess I'll curl my hair.

While on my way to the bathroom, I keep thinking of Peeta. What will he think of this outfit? Will he like it? Will he not? Ugh. I don't even care anymore.

I curl my hair in the bathroom and storm down the stairs. I'm already upset and I haven't even met up with Peeta yet.

The house is oddly silent. The servants are doing there chores and I wave goodbye to them. They wave back. I want to slam the door on my way out, but I know it will wake my mother. It's not worth it.

On the walk to the bakery, I calm myself down. I have to at least walk in with a good attitude. What time is it? I didn't even get a chance to look before I left.

When I do get to the bakery the nerves kick in. Just breathe. I just have to remember to breathe. I glance down at my dress. Crap, it's too dressy. I knew it was too fancy!

I consider turning back and going home, but I don't want to do that to Peeta. I push the nerves down and enter the bakery. The bell tinkles. My nerves instantly come back. I see Peeta sitting behind the counter watching the door. His eyes instantly light up when his eyes lock on me. His smile mirrors mine. My nerves immediately melt away.

"Wow. You look beautiful," he says. I instantly blush.

"Thanks. You look handsome yourself," I reply, absolutely stunned. He does look handsome in his faded blue jeans and his black t-shirt. These are the moments where I believe he loves me back, but I doubt he does.

"So…where are you going to take me?" I try to hide my blush behind a curtain of my golden hair.

"Wherever you want to go." Where I want to go? Oh, crap. Say something, Madge!

"Wherever I want to go?" Nice, Madge. Real smooth. What a well formulated response.

"Yeah," he says, stuffing his hands in his jean pockets. He looks nervous. "I thought I would let you decide. I'm sorry. I probably should've picked a place and everything. I guess I just wasn't thinking."

He's apologizing? For what? "Nothing to apologize for. Just a little surprised. That's all."

I rack my brain for any good places to go to. A restaurant? No, that would seem like a date. The woods? How did I even come up with that idea? No one really goes into the woods unless you're desperate. I want to go to the woods, but I am desperate to get out of here. Anyway, I doubt Peeta has ever crossed the fence. I know I never have. Okay, I have to think of more places. The meadow? Yeah! I like the meadow. Good job, Madge! Ugh, I have to stop doing that.

"We could go to the meadow," I suggest.

"Sure!" He shuffles out from behind the counter and moves beside me. "Shall we go," he says as he offers me his hand. My hands immediately begin to sweat. I place my hand in his.

"We shall," I say with a huge smile. I mean he says we're friends, but then he holds my hand! Why can't he just make up his mind?

We stroll out the door hand in hand toward the meadow. My hand begins to sweat even more. Great. Now he'll think I'm sweaty on top of everything. He doesn't say anything, though. Thank goodness.

When we reach the meadow, I become worried. What should I say? Should I say anything? Should I sit in the grass? Should I stand? Should we continue to walk? Should I do nothing?

"How are you? You seemed a little out of it last time I saw you."

Oh, why did you have to bring it up? Everything was going so well! "I don't know," I reply while shrugging my shoulders.

"Oh, come on. It was something."

"It was nothing!" It was definitely something. Something I can't tell you about…

"Did that girl say something to you?"

Yeah, she did. Something that is really getting to me. Am I so different from her? She comes to his bakery all the time. She doesn't come for bread. She doesn't come for pastries. She comes from him. Am I really that different? She expects him to ask her out. Don't I? Deep down don't I expect him to ask me out sooner or later? So, yeah, it really is bothering me.

"No."

"I don't usually pry, but-"

"It was _nothing_," I stress, interrupting him. "Why do you care anyway?"

"I care about you. I don't want anyone taking advantage of you."

I have the urge to roll my eyes. He's always hinting, but he never says anything more. "Thanks, but I can take care of myself."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Really, really?"

"Really, really."

"Really, really, really?"

"Really, really, really," I say with a straight face. I begin to laugh and he joins in. We're acting like little kids.

"Seriously, though, I'm just trying to protect you." Yeah, like a little sister. I could be his sister. We both have the bright blue eyes and the blonde hair. Jeez, that's an awkward thought.

"Thanks, Peet. I appreciate it."

"No prob."

We walk and walk. We're still hand in hand and I really like that. Neither of us pulls away and I don't think either of us wants to. Do friends hold hands? I really hope not.

"Are you hungry? We could always run back to the bakery and get a snack."

"Yeah, sure." We turn around and begin to stroll back to town. We pass by some people, but they pay us no mind.

Peeta and I talk about little stuff on the way back. He talks about the bakery, and I comment where I'm supposed to. I just let him talk because I don't really know what to say.

"We're here," he announces as we reach the little bakery in the middle of town. He lets go of my hand to open the door for me. The bell rings. He's such a gentleman.

"Thank you," I say as I saunter through the open door.

"You're welcome," he responds while striding in behind me.

I'm about to say something else when a woman calls Peeta's name. The woman must make Peeta nervous because he instantly stiffens. I give him a questioning look, but he ignores it.

"Peeta! Peeta is that you," the woman asks from behind the bakery. I can't see who it is.

"Yes, mother, it is." Oh, so that's his mother? I don't know if I've ever really met her. I've met his father and one of his brothers, but I don't think I've ever really met his mother. I've seen her from afar, but I've never spoken to her.

She stomps out from behind the bakery. She kind of looks like Peeta. She has the same blonde hair, but hers has strings of gray. They both have the same blue eyes, but Peeta's seem nicer.

"I thought you were supposed to be working today," she yells as she takes off her apron and hangs it on the little hook by the door that leads to the rear end of the bakery. "What's the matter with you…," she trails off as she spots me next to him.

"I'm sorry, but dad told me I had off today."

"Oh, okay," she says, still staring at me. I shift a little. Her stare makes me uneasy.

"This is Madge, mother," he declares while gesturing to me. I smile nervously.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Mellark."

"Yes, you're Madge Undersee. Aren't you?"

"Yes ma'am." Where's she going with this?

"The mayor's daughter?"

"Yes ma'am."

She smiles an eerie smile. "Why isn't my son lucky man? Dating the mayor's daughter and all." She directs her gaze to Peeta. "Maybe you're not a waste after all."

My eyes widen. She has the nerve to say that to Peeta? How dare she! Peeta is the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful-

"We're just friends, mother," Peeta says, interrupting my inner monologue once again.

Her eyes turn cold once again and her smile vanishes. "I knew it was too good to be true," she mutters under her breath as she trudges back to the rear end of the bakery. She leaves us in complete silence.

"Do you want some cookies," Peeta asks, interrupting the silence. He looks a little beat up.

"Sure." How can I help? I've never dealt with this. What should I do?

Peeta moseys behind the counter and grabs a bag of cookies. "Do you want to eat these in my room?"

"Sure." He leads me up the stairs to his room. I suddenly become a little excited. I've never been in Peeta's room before. I wonder what it'll look like.

He opens up the door for me and I enter without a word. Should I bring his mother up? Should I pretend nothing happened?

Peeta takes a seat on his bed and I take a seat next to him. We eat the cookies in awkward silence. I don't like to see Peeta like this. I like to see the bubbly Peeta with a smile ingrained on his face.

"It's not true," I mutter. He looks at me with a confused look. I keep going. "You're not a waste, Peeta. You're mother doesn't know what the heck she's talking about."

"Thanks," he says with a tight smile. He doesn't look too convinced.

"I'm serious! Peeta, you are the kindest, sweetest, most thoughtful, caring, loving person I know."

"Thanks, Madge, but it's fine. I'm used to it." Wait, what?

"What do you mean?"

"Eh, it's nothing."

"What's wrong, Peeta?" Peeta averts his eyes to his lap. "Peeta, tell me."

"Well, remember when I came to school with a black eye?"

"Yeah…" I remember that day perfectly. His eye was puffy and black. No one knew what happened. He never said anything, but there were rumors that he picked a fight with an older kid. It hurt me to think someone could hurt him. I never really believed the rumor anyway. Peeta is too kind to do something like that.

"My mother did that to me."

I don't say anything for a long time. I need to calm myself down. I want to go yell at his mother for causing him pain. I want to scream at his father for letting this happen.

Memories of a scarred Peeta come back to me. There were many occasions where Peeta came to school scarred and bruised. Peeta never told me. I don't think he even told his friends.

"Your mother…beats you?" It's hard to get the word out. My poor Peeta in pain for…nothing. What could Peeta possibly do to deserve that?

He just nods. "She hurts you physically and mentally," I state, just trying to talk it out. He just shrugs. "You don't deserve that."

"There's nothing I can do about it. Once I'm eighteen I'll move out and hopefully get a place of my own. I'll be able to get a job by then."

I just can't fight the urge to hug him right then and right there. The gesture takes Peeta by surprise, but he doesn't pull away. He slowly returns the hug.

"I'm so sorry, Peeta. I didn't know."

"It's not your fault at all. My mother just can't help it."

"She shouldn't be doing that to you."

"I know."

I pull myself to him tighter. "I'll be here for you. Whenever you need me I'll be here. I promise." I knew right when I said it that I couldn't have said anything truer.

A/N-Sorry this chapter is so late! I took a last minute trip to Indiana. Sorry! Review, please!


	4. Not alone

A/N-Enjoy! Oh, and remember to REVIEW, PLEASE! Really does make my day! Thanks to everyone who did!

Disclaimer-I don't own the Hunger Games

"Her days are numbered," I hear someone whisper outside of my closed bedroom door. Tears fill my eyes. My mother is dying. I knew it!

"Well, what can I do," my father asks frantically, obviously unaware I'm awake.

"Nothing, really. The best thing you can do is to make her death painless. She's going to be in a lot more pain than usual," a man with a Capitol accent informs my panicked father. I'm guessing he's one of those fancy Capitol doctors. My mother has had so many different ones it's hard to keep track.

"There has to be something I can do! Anything! I'm not going to let her die," he says as his voice rises into hysteria.

"Keep your voice down. You're going to wake Madge up." I hear footsteps starting to go down the stairs. Those footsteps don't sound like my father's. They must be the doctor's.

"Please," he pleads. "I'll do anything! I'll give you any amount of money! I'll give you everything I own! Just please don't let my wife die!"

"She's going to die," he sighs, "and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it."

I hear footsteps quickly going down the stairs and exiting the front door. It doesn't sound like my father moves from his spot. Eventually, though, he does leave the house. I'm left all alone in this big house with my deathly ill mother and the maids as well as the butlers.

My feet immediately carry me to where my mother is sleeping. I sit on a chair next to her and wait. I wait for her to get up. I wait for her to tell me it's all a mistake. I wait for her to hug me and tell me it's all okay. I wait for her to tell me she's not going to die. That's when the tears fall.

I grasp her hand as hard as I can and sob. "Don't leave me here alone," I shriek. My mother doesn't answer. The doctor probably drugged her again. "Answer me," I scream. "Mommy, tell me you're not going to die!" Why my mother? Why does she have to die? "I don't want to lose you," I whisper, my tears making it hard to talk. "I can't lose you," I yell again, my voice rising again. "You can't die! You can't!"

I hear a set of footsteps coming to my mother's bedroom. It's probably one of the maids or one of the butlers. I begin to shake my mother's fragile shoulders. If I was thinking clearly I would know not to do this, but I'm not. "Why won't you answer me? Mommy, answer me! Wake up!" I can't believe I do, but I expect her to wake up. I expect her to comfort me, but she doesn't. She usually never does.

One of the butlers, Theodore, strides in mutely and lays a hand on my shoulder. I roughly shake it off. "Madge, why don't you let your mother rest."

"Rest? Rest! She's always resting," I shriek. Tears rush down quickly. I don't try to stop them. I gaze back at my mother. "Wake up," I whisper to her. "Please, wake up."

"Please, Madge, come down and have some breakfast."

I shake my head frantically. "My mother is _dying!_ Dying, Theo!"

"I know," he replies calmly. I look back at him again and meet his gaze. His eyes are pained.

"The doctors won't do anything to help her. They're just going to let her die."

"I know."

"Is that all you can say!"

"What can I say, Madge? Your mother was a wonderful woman. She loved you very much. She loved your father very much."

"Was," I mutter under my breath, feeling the tears coming back stronger. I know he didn't mean to say it like that, but it hurt just the same.

"Come on, Madge," Theodore repeats, laying his hand on my shoulder again.

"No," I say forcefully while staring at my mother. I have to remember her. I will not forget a single detail about her.

"Your father expected you to act like this," he mumbles, more to himself than to me. "He doesn't want anyone to wake your mother up."

"She never gets up after she's been drugged," I state. "Trust me, I've tried."

"Come one, Madge. I made you some pancakes."

"I don't want it."

"If you don't come down voluntarily, I'll have to force you." Yeah, right.

"I'd like to see you try."

He bends down and scoops me up and begins to carry me out of my mother's room. The action takes me by surprise, but I quickly recover. "No," I yell, kicking and punching. "Mommy!" I punch and kick as hard as I can. He puts me down, and I think he gave up. I try to run back to my mother, but he grabs me by the waist and carries me down the stairs. I instantly become hysterical again. "Wake up, mommy! Please wake up!" We reach the bottom, but I don't give up. "Don't leave me here alone! Don't leave me! Please, don't leave me!"

I kick, scream, and punch until I can't anymore. Theodore stays silent through the whole event. He absorbs every hit and kick, but he doesn't let me go. God forbid I spend time with my mother in her dying days. Is this what she wants? Does she want to go quietly in the night without a last goodbye? Does she want to die?

He finally does let me down, but I don't move. I begin to sob again. I squeeze Theo with every last ounce of energy I have left and just cry. She'll never see me grow up. She'll never meet my children. She'll never be at my wedding. She'll never meet my husband. She'll never be there.

"I'm sorry," I cry into Theo's shoulder. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"I know."

I cry and cry. "Where's my father," I ask him when the tears stop coming. My voice is still shaky even though I try to steady it.

"Work."

"He can work during this," I screech.

"Honey, he has no choice."

I remove myself from his arms. I can already see bruises beginning to form from where I hit him, but I pretend like I don't notice. "He's the mayor. He can work at home."

"I think he needs some time alone."

"He's always alone, Theo. My mother is _dying_ and he's at work like nothing happened."

"Madge, don't be like that."

The butlers and the maids pretend not to watch me, but I know they are. "He never told me."

"He wanted to, but he never had the chance."

"Stop defending him," I shout again.

"Margaret, don't raise your voice at me. I know these are hard times, but-," he is cut off by me briskly walking to the door. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Out," I answer without sparing a glance over my shoulder. I slam the door as hard as I can on my way out, too.

I don't know where I want to go. I just saunter aimlessly through the streets. I observe the houses, the shops. Before I know it, I'm in town.

I don't realize it, but I'm on a direct course to the bakery. Crap. I decide to keep going. What are the chances he'll see me? Well, luck hasn't been on my side lately.

Of course when I happen to be strolling in front of the bakery with my head held low, a blonde spots me. He just happened to be exiting the bakery. Stupid crappy luck. "Hey, Madge! How are you?"

"Fine," I reply politely, but keep up my pace. He jogs to catch up to me. Can't he see I don't want to talk to him?

"What's wrong," he asks, his voice laced with genuine concern. I don't answer him. Instead, I look away so he can't see the tears that are forming. I do not want Peeta Mellark to see me cry. "Madge?"  
"What," I ask, my voice squeaking.

"Are you okay?"

I shake my head. I don't trust my voice. I just know if I open my mouth I'll start crying. I thought I cried myself out.

"Madge?" He holds his hand out to stop me. It works. "Look at me," he says gently. When I don't listen he takes my chin and forces me to look at him. "Hey, what's wrong," he asks gently when he sees the tears that are already rolling down my cheeks.

"It's true," I sob. He removes his hand as I place my face in my hands.

"What's true," he asks gingerly.

"My mother is dying."

"I'm so sorry."

"They won't even let me spend any time with her!"

He wraps me in his comforting embrace. "Why?"

"I might wake her up. God forbid I do that. Did you know my father never even told me?"

I just noticed that people are beginning to watch us. I don't really care, though, at this point. "How did you find out then?"

"I'm a good eavesdropper." My voice is much steadier. The tears lessen. "Do you know where my father is right now?" He doesn't answer. "He's at work. My mother is dying and he's at work." We stand in silence while I continue to bawl.

"Remember when you told me you'd be there for me?" I nod my head into his shoulder. "The same goes for you. Whenever you need me, I'll be here. I promise." I realized at that moment that I'm not alone.

A/N-What do you think? REVIEW, PLEASE! I'd really appreciate it! I'll also update tomorrow if four people review! So, please review!


	5. The Reaping

A/N- Enjoy! Oh and thank you for all of the reviews! You guys are awesome! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! This takes place during the Reaping. I know, right? We're already at the Reaping.

Disclaimer-I do not own the Hunger Games

"I'm scared," I whisper to my mother. She wraps her frail arms around me. It's nice that she's awake.

"I know, but you won't get picked, honey," she coos as she strokes my hair.

"Maysilee got picked," I mutter. "She was from town, too, and she got picked."

"I know, sweetie, but that was because she had extra slips."

"I guess so," I agree.

"Go get ready. The Reaping starts soon." Wouldn't want to miss that, would I? I bite my tongue. If the house wasn't bugged I might have actually said it.

"Yes, mother." I scurry out of her room to my own. I fish out the white as snow dress my father picked out for me from my closet. I stare at it for a long time. It's too flashy. Too…expensive. People don't have enough money for _food_, and here I am flaunting how much I have on unnecessary clothing. That's the thing, though. It's not _my_ choice. It's my father's. I have to wear what he tells me to wear. I have to say what he wants me to say. Free will is not an option.

I slowly put it on and observe myself in the mirror. I look at myself for a good long time. That girl in the mirror is not me. That girl in the mirror is the snotty rich girl from town that Gale always blabs about. That girl isn't Madge. It can't be.

It is, though. I should just face the facts. Gale is right. I do have too much money. I _do_, but that doesn't mean I can do anything about it. My father controls all of the money. I don't have a say.

I slip on a pair of black flats. I like these shoes. They're comfortable, and who's going to be looking at my feet with such a showy dress?

Casually, I amble down the stairs and am greeted by a nervous father. "Hello," I say to him.

"Hello." He saunters to me with something golden in his hand. He pins the item to my shirt. I study it closely. It looks like a bird. A…Mockingjay?

"It was Maysilee's," he explains hurriedly. "For good luck," he clarifies. He's always been a wreck on reaping days.

"Thank you, father." His lips curve upward. The doorbell rings and interrupts our interaction.

"I'm going to go check on your mother."

"Okay," I tell his retreating figure. I hurry to the door, thinking it's Peeta. He said he'd walk with me to the Reaping.

I open the door and am surprised to see Katniss and Gale. Katniss smiles at me while Gale stands emotionless. Oh, no. Here we go. Okay, Gale, fire away. Make some of your hurtful comments.

Gale scans my dress. I notice his eyes linger on the golden pin. "Pretty dress," he says with sarcasm dripping from his tone. There it is. Gale Hawthorne doesn't disappoint.

I won't let him have the satisfaction of seeing his comment affect me. I try to act innocent. "Well, if I end up going to the Capitol, I want to look nice, don't I?" Yes, Gale, don't forget I _could_ go to the Capitol.

"You won't be going to the Capitol," he informs me. Oh, really? My aunt went to the Capitol. She was murdered in the arena. Did you forget about her, Gale? She was from town. "What can you have? Five entries? I had six when I was just twelve years old."

"That's not her fault," Katniss says. See, Gale? Katniss doesn't blame me for being born in town.

"No, it's no one's fault. Just the way it is." I have a strong urge to roll my eyes. I rummage through my pocket for some money for the strawberries.

I place some coins in her hand as she hands me the berries. "Good luck, Katniss."

"You, too." They begin to mosey away. I see her hand Gale some coins. I'm surprised he accepted it since it came from me, but I guess he's desperate. He wants nothing to do with the mayor's daughter.

I wait a bit before the doorbell rings again. I answer the door and am greeted by Peeta's smiling face. He's always grinning, even on such a terrible day.

"You look beautiful," Peeta tells me. I blush.

"Thanks. You look handsome, too."

"Thanks. Are you ready to go?"

"Sure." I close the door softly behind me. I decide not to tell my father I'm leaving. He'll figure it out.

We stroll together in silence. I'm the one who chooses to break it. "How many entries do you have?" My voice barely breaks a whisper.

"Five."

"Same here." We won't get picked. We can't get picked. The odds are totally in our favor.

We arrive at the Reaping without another word. We get our fingers pricked and go to our specific places. We wave goodbye. I didn't want to wave goodbye. Goodbye is not something anyone wants to say today.

I see Katniss in front of me. She looks stunning in her light blue dress. She looks frozen, though. She shows absolutely no emotion. She's pretty good at that.

My father blabs a little. I try to do my best to zone out. The less you remember today the better. I don't want to remember the scared children. I don't want to remember their innocent faces. I just want to go home and try to forget.

Effie Trinket takes the stage. I try to block her out, too. I don't want to hear her voice. I just have to listen for my name. Hopefully that doesn't happen. It won't happen. Effie begins to saunter to the glass bowl. I squeeze my eyes shut and just listen.

"Primrose Everdeen."

My eyes pop open in surprise. The small 12 year old with the healing talents of her mother. The small innocent girl with only one slip. One slip out of thousands!

Katniss is a wreck. "I volunteer," she screams. "I volunteer as tribute!" Prim is shrieking at the top of her lungs. Gale actually has to carry Prim to her mother.

I'm so in shock that I don't even wish Peeta safety when Effie reaches into the other glass bowl.

"Peeta Mellark."

I just can't get a break, can I?

A/N-A little late at night, but I did update! Thank you so much for all of the reviews! I'll update tomorrow if I get five more reviews! REVIEW, PLEASE!


	6. A choice

A/N-Thanks for all of the reviews! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! Thanks a bunch!

Disclaimer-I do not own the Hunger Games

"No," I'm mumbling as they take my friends away. "No, no, no, no." I'm following them. I'm pushing my way through the crowds of people.

I'm sprinting to the Justice Building. "No, no, no," I keep repeating like a crazy woman. Peeta had as many slips as me! Prim had one! One!

A hysterical Prim sobs into her mother's shoulder. They must have gotten back from seeing Katniss. Her mother stands still and lets her daughter cry. It breaks my already broken heart.

I run into the room where Katniss is being held first. "Three minutes," a Peacekeeper announces.

Katniss turns around from her spot to look at me. "They let you wear one thing from your district in the arena," I state. Katniss looks surprised to see me. I'm already unclasping my Mockingjay pin. Fast and to the point. I only get three minutes. "One thing to remember your home. Will you wear this?" I shove my Mockingjay pin to her.

"Your pin," Katniss asks.

"Here, I'll put it on your dress, all right?" I fix the golden pin to her dress. "Promise you'll wear it into the arena, Katniss? Promise?" My voice begins to squeak. I don't want to cry in front of Katniss. I should get going. Soon.

She solemnly nods. "Yes." I lean forward and place a kiss on her cheek. I wrap her into an embrace to hide the tears that are forming. I quickly exit the room, but spare one last glance at Katniss. She's examining the golden pin. Be my Mockingjay, Katniss. Finish what Maysilee started.

I wipe the tears that have managed to roll down my cheeks while I march into Peeta's room. "Three minutes," a Peacekeeper informs me. Three minutes. I get three minutes. How can I fit all of what I want to say to Peeta in three minutes?

"Peeta," I cry. He turns his gaze toward me.

"Hey, hey. Don't cry," he says as he rushes over to me. We hug, but I know I have to talk. This could be my last moment with him. The thought makes me cry harder.

"You have to win."

"I can't."

"You can and you will," I say forcefully. I lean back and stare into his bright blue eyes. "You will."

"Madge, don't you see? I can't!" I'm shaking my head frantically. "My own mother doesn't think I'll win."

"Peeta, you listen and you listen good. You'll win. You'll come home to me, okay? There are no other options."

"Katniss?"

The name stops me short. I totally forgot about her. Do I choose my friend or my love? My love or my friend? "You worry about yourself, okay?" I gave her the Mockingjay pin. It's all okay.

"Madge, why do you want me to be the Victor so badly?"

The moment of truth. "I-," I'm cut off by a Peacekeeper abruptly entering.

"Your time is up."

"Please, one more minute?

The Peacekeeper doesn't answer. He marches over to me and drags me away. No more mister nice guy. "No," I screech. "Peeta!" I'm bawling hysterically. I'm kicking and screaming.

"I'll see you soon," Peeta calls out calmly. The door closes. That could've been my last moment with him.

The Peacekeeper puts me down and returns to his post. "I love you," I whisper to the door, careful no one heard me. I'm just hoping he figures it out.

I see Gale exiting from the room Katniss was placed in. He looks at me suspiciously. "Did you visit the townie?"

Why does he care? Crap. I wipe at my eyes hurriedly, trying to erase the evidence of all of my crying. "Yes, and Gale it would be nice for you to call people by their names."

"If you're rooting for bread boy then why did you give Katniss your pin?"

"I'm not rooting for anyone."

He strides closer to me with a glare on his face. "You listen to me, Undersee," he growls in an intimidating voice. "Katniss is your friend, right?" I nod. "She has a family to get back to. A family that needs her. You think her mom is going to take care of Prim? That's a load of bull. We all know she's going to zone out like she did when her dad died."

"I know." Tears begin to come back. "I know, Gale! You think I don't? I have to pick between my two closest friends!"

"Well, you better pick Katniss. We both know Peeta isn't coming back."

"Don't you dare tell me what to do!" My voice begins to crack. "Peeta has a chance. Don't rule him out so early."

"Oh, I see how it is. Townies band together, huh?" He laughs a cruel laugh. "I actually thought you were her friend."

"I am," I shriek.

"Let's just say I didn't see waterworks after you visited Katniss."

I leave right then and there because I don't think I can take anymore. How dare he say those things! I sob on the way back to my house.

Peeta won't be there anymore to comfort me, or keep my secrets, or just to bring me happiness. He's going to spend the next few weeks in hell, and there's nothing I can do about it.

If I could, I would switch places. I would go to the Hunger Games. What would I have to come back for? Peeta. That's it.

Then there's Katniss. She's always been the quiet one. Her smiles are rare, and her laughs even more so. I've never seen her cry. She sometimes would talk about the woods. She would tell me of the times she spent there. She sounds so happy in the woods.

The two people are so different. Peeta never shuts up while Katniss barely opens her mouth. Katniss can be hostile while Peeta is just naturally bubbly. Peeta always has a smile planted on his face, but Katniss usually has a scowl.

I wonder if Peeta is thinking about me. Is he pondering over what I said? Did he figure it out? I mean I think I left him enough hints.

Peeta…the love of my life. Katniss…my Mockingjay. Which one do I pick? I love each one differently! Why couldn't it have been me? I would gladly take either of their places, but of course I didn't. I could've volunteered for Prim, and I didn't. I'm so ashamed.

I know one thing for sure, though, and it brings me some comfort. Neither of them is going down without a fight.

A/N-Sorry that technically this isn't the day after. It's midnight and I'm frantic trying to post this quickly. Thanks for all of the amazing reviews! REIEW, PLEASE! If I get six I'll update tomorrow (technically today, but whatever).


	7. An unexpected visit

A/N-Heyo! Thanks for all of the reviews! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE!

Disclaimer-I don't own the Hunger Games

I watch the Reapings on the television with little attention. I don't need to see their competition. What's the point? The Careers will be huge and lethal. The rest will be average.

I zone out during the beginning, and even fall asleep around District 6. I'm abruptly awakened, though, by a loud knocking on the door. Who the heck could that be? Doesn't that person know that knocking could wake my mother up? She doesn't get her shipment of morphling until tomorrow.

My feet lazily carry me to the door. I fix my hair over my shoulder and open the door to see a person I was not expecting. I try to hide the shock on my face when I see her.

"Hi, what's wrong," I ask with genuine concern. Before me stands a sobbing Prim.

"I miss her, Madge."

"Oh, sweetie" I say as I pull her into a hug.

"Katniss shouldn't have volunteered. I should've been the one to go."

"No," I say as I squeeze her a little tighter. She's tiny, but she has so much on her small shoulders.

"Katniss will be back soon," she says as she begins to cry harder. "She has to."

I never thought about Prim, honestly. Katniss is so much more to Prim than a sister. They have a very special bond I can't even really describe.

Peeta coming back would mean Katniss would have to die. Gale would have to supply not only for his family, but for Katniss' family, too. Prim would lose her sister. Katniss was much more to Prim, though. If Katniss doesn't come back, Prim will lose her sister and her mother. I doubt Katniss' mother will be okay if Katniss dies.

If Katniss wins, though, Peeta will have to die. I don't like that option, either. My life will never be the same without him. His father will be absolutely devastated. His brothers will be crushed. His mother, on the other hand, will be…sad? Ashamed? I don't know, but I don't want to lose him, either.

Prim interrupts my thoughts by crying louder. "It's okay," I coo as I stroke her hair. "Katniss is going to win. You know how strong she is."

I get a small smile from the petite blonde. "You really think so?"

"Yes." I don't know if I'm telling the truth, but I'll say anything to bring Prim some comfort. "Are you hungry?" Prim nods into my shoulder. "Would you like something to eat?"

"Yes, please," she says in a shaky voice.

"What would you like?"

"I don't care."

"How does turkey sound? I have some leftovers from yesterday."

"That sounds good." I remove myself from her embrace to go make us some food. She follows me to the kitchen. "I miss her so much already."

"I miss her, too."

I put some turkey in the microwave and set the timer for the correct amount of time. "Does anyone know you're here?"

"No."

"I'll take you back after you eat, okay?" The microwave beeps and I open the microwave door to take the turkey out.

"Okay."

I put some turkey on a plate for me, and put some on a plate for her. She takes a seat at the table. I put her plate in front of her while I take a seat next to her. "Thank you."

"No worries." She eats greedily. I wonder if I should send some food home with her. It would ease Gale's load. It would be good for Prim. I can spare some food.

"Would you like to take some food home?"

"I can't afford anything."

"Free of charge."

"I really ca-," Prim is interrupted by someone knocking angrily on the door. I wonder who that could be.

"I'll get it," I announce. I scamper to the door and open it hastily. I don't want my mother to wake up.

"Hi," I greet Gale.

"Have you seen Prim," he asks hurriedly.

"Nice to see you, too," I say sarcastically.

"Have you seen Prim," he repeats, trying to control his temper.

"Yeah, she's here."

Prim stands behind me, slightly hidden by my body. "Hi, Gale."

"Prim, what the hell? You can't just disappear like that! We were looking everywhere for you! Everyone is worried sick!"

"I'm sorry," Prim apologizes.

"Damn, Prim-,"

"She's sorry, alright," I interrupt him. Gale raises his eyebrows at me. Prim holds my hand.

"It's okay, Madge," Prim whispers to me. "Thanks for the food and for having me."

"No problem. I enjoyed the company." Prim smiles as she lets go of my hand and moseys over to Gale. They walk together back to the Seam. Prim waves goodbye, and I wave back.

Poor Prim. It really breaks my heart to see her like that. How can her mother not notice her leaving? I mean didn't she see Prim was such a mess?

How can Gale yell at Prim? She just came to my house. That's it. She should've told him. She should've told someone, but it's not a big deal. Prim can't get too far. Not unless she went in the woods…

Prim would never go into the woods alone. Gale knows that. Was he just upset that she ran to me for comfort and not someone else? Oh, no, Prim. Don't go near the mayor's daughter. I roll my eyes. Gale needs to get over that. I clean up the dishes and put them in the sink. I should let the butlers and the maids do it, but I just need something to keep me busy.

Does Katniss know how much Prim needs her? I hope she does. I really hope she does. She has to know how much she's needed at home.

Peeta has to know, too. He has to realize how much he means to me. If he dies, a part of me will die with him. I'll never be the same person without him, and that's a fact.

A/N-Hi! Technically I did not update the next day. Sorry! It's a little before one, and I'm trying my best to get this posted. THANKS FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! I probably won't be able to update as often because I'm going back to school soon. I'm going to try my best, though. Six more reviews, and I'll update tomorrow!


	8. A place of memories

A/N-Sorry this chapter is so late! This week was my first week of school…it was brutal. I'll try to make this a pretty long chapter. Enjoy! Five reviews and I'll update tomorrow! REVIEW, PLEASE!

Disclaimer-I do not own the Hunger Games

"Peeta," I murmur in surprise. "Peeta, is that really you?"

Peeta doesn't answer me. He runs right past me. He doesn't even glance in my direction. "Peeta?"

We're in a vast field with tall grass and a beautiful sun. Peeta doesn't look like he belongs in this scene. He looks frightened, very frightened. It scares me.

I begin to run after him. "What's wrong? Peeta, what's wrong?" The voices are my answer.

"He went this way," I hear a female voice call out. I finally see her. She's stocky with dark black hair and dark eyes. She has a collection of knives.

She's not alone, either. She has a boy with her and another girl. The girl has light hair and light blue eyes. The boy has dark brown eyes with a muscular build. They must be the Careers.

They all have an array of dangerous weapons. "Don't kill him," I beg. I step in front of them, trying to block their path to Peeta.

They don't notice me, either. They maneuver around me and continue their way to him. It's a terrible feeling. The feeling of being powerless. The feeling of having no control of an outcome. That's how I feel right now. There's only one thing I can think of to say.

"Run, Peeta, run!"

He does, too. He runs as fast as he possibly can. That is, until he falls and hurts his ankle. "No," I shriek. I sprint to him. I try to beat the Careers, but it's no use. They already have him surrounded.

The girl with the light hair borrows a knife from her fellow Career. She smiles a disturbing smile as she plunges the knife into Peeta's flesh.

That's when I wake up to my own screaming.

The square is packed with citizens. The screen doesn't show much yet. It just displays the Capitol symbol. I try to pretend this is an ordinary Hunger Games. My two closest friends did not get chosen. Katniss is standing with Prim, and Peeta will be meeting me soon like he promised. A tear manages to escape from my eye. They might never come back.

No. One will come back. One of our tributes will come back. Who will it be? Will it be the quiet hunter? Will it be the bubbly baker? The odds just keep looking slimmer for Peeta…

No. No. No. They have an equal chance. Peeta may very well be the one who wins this thing. He could. He has the personality. He's strong. He could do it.

I scan the crowd for someone I know. I don't want to watch this all by myself. Being alone gives me more time for my brain to wander to bad topics.

I spot Prim and Mrs. Everdeen in the very front. Prim looks like a ghost of the old one. She doesn't smile. Her eyes are dead. Her mother doesn't look much better.

"Hello," I greet them.

"Hello, Madge," Mrs. Everdeen says with a forced smile.

Prim has a dazed look on her face. "Hey, Madge." She doesn't bother trying to smile. Today is not a day for smiling.

We stand together awkwardly while we all focus on the screen. We don't speak because we don't know what to say. We don't smile because we know what's in store.

Mrs. Hawthorne joins us with her family. Gale trudges behind. He doesn't want to be near me. I don't want to be near him, either. The feeling is mutual.

We greet each other solemnly. If I didn't know, I would think this was a funeral. The Hunger Games are usually a death sentence, especially for our district. We usually just assume our tributes are going to die. It's terrible, but we haven't had a winner since Haymitch.

The anthem plays and the screen presents the opening ceremonies. I want to squeeze my eyes shut. I want to hide under my blanket and dream of happier times, but the Capitol doesn't want that. They want you to watch your friends get slaughtered. Not only that, but they treat it like a holiday. How sick is that?

District 1's chariot appears on the screen, and they're fabulous. They're usually fabulous. That's not a big surprise.

The first couple of districts are absolutely stunning. I begin to bite on my nails. Our tributes are usually stark naked. I…I…don't even want to think about how awkward that would be to see them…naked.

The rest of the Districts are ordinary. Eh. They're not very memorable. The only one I'll remember is the small girl from District 11, but it's hard to forget a twelve year old getting reaped.

District 12 finally comes up, and I hold my breath. They are both dressed in black suits with fire trailing behind them. What? They're…on fire? They're on fire. They're on fire! I smile involuntarily. Capitol citizens will love that! They'll get sponsors!

Katniss blows kisses, smiles, and waves…that's not like her. That's not like her at all. Peeta does the same, but he's…Peeta. He usually does those things.

District 12 cheers for Peeta and Katniss, and I hear the Capitol citizens cheering for them as well. I study them closer. The smile gradually vanishes from my face. Are they…holding hands?

I try to hide the shock that I'm sure is apparent on my face, but what? Why are they holding hands? Why! Peeta and Katniss have never spoken a word to one another! Does this mean they're a couple? Friends? Peeta was mine! _Mine_!

We never dated. I have to remind myself of that. Seriously, though? Why? He held my hand. He held it quite a lot. I think he liked to hold my hand. It hurts, honestly, that he would hold her hand on live television, but hold mine in secrecy.

I subconsciously hold my right hand in my left. Peeta used to hold my hand like this. He used to joke around and swing our hands as we would stroll through the meadow.

I risk a glance at Gale. I can't help but stare at him through the corner of my eye. He has his teeth clenched and his hands balled into fists. He glares at the screen. What's his problem?

Is he mad about the holding hands part, too? Wait…does that mean he has feelings for her? Oh. That really stinks. That explains why they're together nonstop. It also explains the way he stares at her.

Maybe Katniss and Peeta are just friends. Maybe they're just scared. Maybe they need to hold hands to balance themselves. I don't think that's the case, though.

They release hands, and Katniss rises on her tiptoes. What is she doing? She places a kiss on his cheek. A kiss! How dare she!

I ball my fists like Gale and clench my jaw. I'm sure we're mirroring each other's actions right now. I observe him through the corner of my eye, and that's the case. He opens and closes his hands furiously. Yeah, he totally has deep feelings for her. Is it love? I don't know.

The announcers babble about stupid stuff. I don't even bother to try to listen to what they're talking about. I'm too infuriated about the idea of Peeta and Katniss as a…couple.

Peeta and _I_ were supposed to be a couple. _We_ were the ones supposed to be the ones sharing gentle kisses on the cheek. Not her. She was supposed to marry Gale. I guess Gale thought so, too.

The screen eventually flickers off, and the crowd scatters. Gale stomps off somewhere, and I scamper off to the meadow. The steam eventually wears off. The sadness begins to invade my senses. Tears threaten to spill, but I don't let them. I have to be strong.

I decided to mosey through the meadow because it reminds me of Peeta. This is where we shared many of our laughs, our troubles, our secrets. The meadow was our haven. We could get away.

The meadow is now just a place of memories.

I amble through the grass and spot a tall figure near the fence. Gale. Gale just has the perfect timing, doesn't he?

"Undersee," he states without so much as looking at me. I'm surprised by the lack of venom in his voice. It's empty and hollow.

"Hi, Gale." I saunter closer to him. He looks like he wants to escape to the refuge of the woods.

"Too many Peacekeepers," he says simply. I nod. Nobody wants to test their luck with Peacekeepers today.

The newfound knowledge of Gale having feelings for Katniss is just too hard to ignore. I want to know if it's true, and he's usually the one who torments me. I want to reverse roles for a change.

"You have deep feelings for Katniss, don't you," I ask gently. Not the tone I was thinking of using, but whatever.

"Yes. I love her just like you love Mellark, blondie."

His voice is still empty, but I can tell how much he's hurting. That doesn't hide my embarrassment, though. "How did you know?"

"I find it pretty obvious, actually."

"Oh," I manage to get out as my cheeks start to heat.

"Well, I love the old Katniss."

"Huh?"

"That wasn't Katniss. That was the Capitol's newest creation. The Girl on Fire. She's not Katniss."

"She won't let them change her." She's still the same Katniss. What the hell is he talking about?

"They already have." He shimmies under the fence.

"What about the Peacekeepers?"

"I'll take my chances," he mutters with his back facing me. He jogs to the trees and slowly disappears into the distance.

The Capitol won't change Peeta. The Capitol didn't change Katniss. He's just over exaggerating. It's not true. They're the same people.

Or is he absolutely right?

A/N-Sorry again for the late update! REVIEW, PLEASE! Five reviews and I'll update later today!


	9. Realizations

A/N-So many wonderful reviews! THANK YOU! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE!

The days pass slowly. My days are empty. There's nothing to do but worry. I worry, worry, and worry. I do nothing but worry all day and night. What else is there to do?

I could visit Prim and try to comfort her during the training scores tonight. I'll probably leave for her house soon. I haven't seen her since the opening ceremonies. I guess I just expect her to say something about my sudden exit. What will I say? Maybe she won't say anything. Maybe she didn't notice. People usually don't notice me.

She probably did though, but she's twelve. She won't quiz me on my abrupt departure. I'll just say it was hard to see them. Yeah, that's a good excuse. I'll leave out that I was angry they were holding hands. I'll also exclude the fact that Katniss kissing Peeta on the cheek made me _very _angry.

The training scores will be broadcasted tonight, and I'm not looking forward to it at all. What if Peeta gets a low score? What if he doesn't get a lot of sponsors? What if he dies in that wretched arena?

My eyes widen at the thought. No. I mean he can't. I told him not to. Katniss? She can take care of herself. She can hunt. She can survive. She'll get sponsors. Peeta is the one I worry the most about.

The interviews will be Peeta's strong area. He's great with words. I don't know about Katniss. Does sullen and hostile sell in the Capitol? No offense to Katniss, but she comes off as that. She can be nice and funny when she wants to be, but I rarely see it. I'm her best friend.

What if she dies?

I climb the stairs to my father's office. I have to stop thinking. Thinking just leads to horrible possibilities. I practically sprint up the stairs. Yes, socialization will do me good.

I bust his door open. This surprises him as he looks up from his stack of papers. "Hello."

"Hello, father." My father and I have been awkward since my mother's death sentence. I don't really know why. "I'm going to the Everdeen's household. I just thought I would let you know."

"Why?"

What? "Why wouldn't I?"

"Why can't you associate with Delly Cartwright? Her friends? They seem friendly enough."

"Delly's friends don't like me if you haven't noticed." Wouldn't surprise me much. He's always got his nose in some papers. He's always busy. He always has something he needs to do. He never has time for me. Maybe that's why things have been awkward between us lately.

"Are you trying to say something, Margaret," he says as he raises his eyebrows at me. The action makes me even madder than I was.

"You _never_ have time for me. Your work is _always_ more important than me."

"That is not true."

I laugh at the absurdity. "It is!" He looks concerned. Yeah, I'm laughing. "It always is!"

"Madge, are you okay?"

I stop laughing. "You think I'm insane now? Is that it?"

"No…"

"Do you need to get something off your chest? I'm all ears."

"Well, I'm just concerned that you're hanging out with Seam residents."

"Well, what's wrong with that?"

"You, Margaret Undersee, are the mayor's daughter. You have a reputation to uphold."

"Yes. Associating with people that hate my guts is really going to help uphold my reputation."

"You can find someone."

"I did. Do you know where he is right now? Off to murdering children."

"Madge-,"

"It's true," I interrupt him. "How can saying the truth be treason?"

"Margaret Undersee, you _do not_ say anything bad or treasonous toward the Capitol." I nod and roll my eyes. I've heard this before. He lowers his voice. "The house is bugged as well as the district, so you have to be extra careful. You're being monitored twenty-four hours a day. They watch your every move. Do you understand me?"

Huh, didn't know that. Crap. Did they hear what I just said? "Oh."

"Just go," he says as he places his head in his hands.

"I'll be back soon." I saunter down the stairs and to the front door. "Just another perk to being the mayor's daughter," I say under my breath, my tone dripping with sarcasm.

I practically jog to the Everdeen's house. The training scores are going to begin any minute now. I don't want to be late. I also don't want to watch, but I have to.

The small house comes into view, and I run a little faster. Poor Prim. She must be a mess. I wonder how her mother is doing. Did she blank out again like Gale predicted?

I finally reach the tiny residence and knock on the door without a second thought. It takes a moment or two before Prim answers the door. "Hi," she says. Her voice still isn't its normal cheerful tone, but I pretend like I don't notice.

"Hi, Prim! I was wondering if I could watch the training scores with you. Would that be okay?" I just realized how pushy I must sound. What is she going to say? No? I'll do anything, though, to get out of my bugged house.

"Yeah, sure," she says without any enthusiasm. She motions for me to enter, and I do. I want to leave as soon as I see that other guests have decided to watch with the Everdeens, too.

Gale and his family are all seated around the petite television. The children sit on the floor. Mrs. Everdeen and Mrs. Hawthorne sit on chairs. Gale sits on the couch all by himself. The training scores have already started. District 4 is up already.

"Hi," I say nervously. Gale's eyes are glued on me. Yes, Gale. Get it over with. Say something to embarrass me.

"Hello, dear. How are you," Mrs. Hawthorne asks.

"I'm fine, thank you. How are you?"

"I'm doing fine." I say my hellos to everyone else, too. I also make sure to thank Mrs. Everdeen for having me over, even though she didn't expect me to come in the first place.

I take a seat next to Gale. I _really_ don't want to, but there aren't any other spots open. Rory made sure he had a spot next to Prim. It's cute. Young love.

Gale doesn't seem too thrilled to see that I took the seat next to him. Yeah, I'm not too thrilled, either. The couch is a loveseat I guess. We're squished together. It's really awkward.

"I didn't know you were coming," he says simply, his tone still emotionless. The training scores pass by, but I don't really pay attention. Everyone else, though, have their eyes locked on the television. They probably don't even notice Gale and I are having a conversation.

"I didn't know you were coming, either."

"Katniss would've wanted me to be here for Prim."

"That's nice of you." The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Did I just…compliment him? Wow, what happened? It seems like just yesterday we were fighting about stupid stuff he usually said. Yeah, I'm blaming him for our fights.

"Yup." An irritating response, but it's better than a sarcastic one. I glance at the television. It's already to District 7. Jeez, where does all the time go?

"Are you scared?" The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them again. Of course he's not. If he is, he'll never admit it to me.

To my surprise, he nods. The action surprises me. A lot. He must have read the shock on my face. We're admitting things to each other now? "Not what you were expecting? Yeah, I'm scared. Terrified really. More for Prim than for me."

"Me, too." I glance at the television. It's up to District 8 now. Mediocre scores fill the television.

Gale and I sit in silence until District 11 comes. I involuntarily edge closer to the television. The boy goes first. He gets a very high score. The girl, Rue, is up next. She looks so tiny. That's what Prim would've looked like on the screen if Katniss hadn't volunteered.

Rue gets a seven. That's a pretty good score. She won't attract many sponsors with that score, but it's pretty good. I guess she won't die as quickly as I originally thought she would.

The thought makes me angry. She has just begun her life, and they already claimed it. "Stupid moronic Capitol," I mutter under my breath. "Just killed another innocent soul."

Gale stares at me with shock on his face. Peeta's on. I don't want to miss his score.

"Well, well," he whispers, "the mayor's daughter is treasonous. Never saw that coming."

Peeta gets an eight. I can breath. I never knew I was holding my breath. "The truth is the truth whether you want to believe it or not," I say, repeating the words he said to me once. I must be imagining things because I thought I saw a glimpse of a smile from Gale out of the corner of my eye. It disappears as fast it came, though.

I hear the sharp intake of breath as Katniss comes on. Seriously? No one is happy Peeta got a good score? I'll celebrate at my house I guess. Katniss gets an…eleven? What? What! She got an eleven!

The house is absolutely ecstatic. Everyone is hugging and smiling. I haven't seen Prim smile since I don't know when. The same goes for Mrs. Everdeen.

Rory makes sure to hug Prim. It's adorable. Gale and I sit in our seats uncomfortably. We pretty much just became acquaintances. We barely talk. We definitely don't hug.

Prim jogs over to us and wraps us both into a bear hug. We both return the hug. Our hands lightly brush, but we pretend like we don't notice.

"Congrats," I say to her as she removes herself from our embrace.

"Thanks." She says with a smile. Her voice isn't dead, either. She finally sounds like the old Prim.

I smile like everyone else. I hug like everyone else. I'm happy for Katniss. I'm absolutely terrified for Peeta. I now know all of the support is leaning towards Katniss. Everyone wants Katniss to win. Being here with these families made me realize that.

No one wants Peeta to win. They want him to die if that means Katniss will come home. Anything. They want Katniss to do everything and anything to come home. Even if that means she has to kill. Even if that means she has to kill Peeta…

"I should probably get going," I say suddenly. Everyone bids me goodbye as I exit the front door. I know one thing. That's the last time I'll be watching the Hunger Games with the Everdeens.

A/N-Thank you for all of the reviews! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! Sorry this wasn't before midnight, but technically I did update in about 24 hours. Six reviews and I'll update tomorrow!


	10. What hurts the most

A/N-Hello! Thanks for all of the reviews! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! Seven more reviews and I'll update tomorrow! THANKS AGAIN! Oh, and I just wanted to say I'm going to stick with the book. Enjoy!

Disclaimer-I do not own the Hunger Games

I pat my hair to make sure it's smooth as I walk to the town square. Interviews are today. I can't even describe how anxious I am. Just another day closer to the actual Hunger Games.

After much consideration, I decided I would watch the interviews with the Everdeens. I just don't want to face this alone. I need someone. Anyone.

I enter the town square and take a deep breath. I have to fake a polite attitude. I can't be too happy, but I can't be too glum. I have to be happy for Katniss, but I also have to be sad that she's in the Hunger Games. Tricky, but I think I can handle it. I'm good at pretending

People crowd around the screen, all waiting for the words of our very own tributes. I easily spot the Everdeens in the very front row. The Hawthornes are right next to them, as usual. I also see Gale. Gale and I have been nicer to each other. Almost on a friendly basis. Almost. Maybe a little less than almost.

"Hello," I say to Prim and Mrs. Everdeen.

"Hi," they welcome back. Prim hugs me as does Mrs. Everdeen. I say hello to the Hawthornes, too. They say hello to me, too.

I stand by Gale. He doesn't seem surprised that I chose a spot next to him. "Wasn't your aunt in the Hunger Games?"

What? That was random… "Yeah." Where did that come from?

"Mrs. Everdeen was telling me about her pin. Is the pin…?"

I nod. "It was Maysilee's," I say simply.

"A Mockingjay seems to be a funny thing to put on a pin."

"Mockingjays outsmarted the Capitol. Maysilee tried to outsmart the Capitol the best she could. Katniss _will_ outsmart the Capitol. Doesn't seem odd to me at all."

Gale raises his eyebrows at me. "You're not the person I thought you were."

Well, duh. He expected me to be a narrow minded brat. I decide to give him a harder time. "In what way?"

"Oh, you know what I mean, Undersee." I smile and there's a hint of a smile on his face, too.

"You're not as angry and intimidating as I originally thought." I look at him to see his expression. His smile becomes a tiny bit bigger.

"Thanks. I'll take that as compliment." I giggle, something I haven't done in the longest time. It feels foreign, but not unwelcome.

We wait for the interviews when realization hits. Gale Hawthorne just made me laugh. Gale…made me laugh. Gale! The idea seems so unlikely, but it did happen.

The screen flashes on. It shows Caesar Flickerman. He smiles and riles up the crowd. The Capitol is cheering, but our district remains silent. We were forced to come whether we wanted to or not.

District 1 is up first and the tributes are intimidating, but I know Katniss and Peeta can take them. There's no doubt in my mind.

The District 2 tributes, though, scare me, the boy especially. He's brutal, bloody Cato. That's what they call him anyway. I can see why. His district partner is tinier, but she's about as scary as he is.

The rest are ordinary. No one else makes an impression. Some tributes smile, some don't. Some tributes try to appear nice, some don't bother. As the interviews continue, the better I feel that Katniss and Peeta are going to win. Well, one of them is.

District 11 comes on, and I see Rue's perfect little face. Caesar asks her simple questions. She says she's a gatherer. Her answer doesn't surprise me. I don't see her killing a single soul.

I don't know if I could do it. Kill someone. I would be taking someone's life. They'll never see another sunrise. They'll never live another day. Their families will suffer all because of something I did. I don't think I could do something like that to another human being, no matter their past.

The boy from her district, Thresh, barely says a word. He nods or doesn't even answer some questions. I can see that Caesar is struggling, trying to get the silent boy to talk. He's relieved when the next interviewee is up.

Katniss stumbles into the seat next to Caesar. She's nervous. I can tell. She's also stunning. The dress makes her shine. I don't know if she realizes this.

Her nervousness really shows during her interview. She eventually warms up, though. She's giggling, smiling, and seems to be enjoying herself. She shows the Capitol her dress. It's another fire dress. The fire concept scares me, really. She doesn't seem scared, though.

I look at Gale. His face is emotionless. He doesn't seem to be eating her interview up like the Capitol is. The Capitol is loving her. They're cheering and screaming her name.

Caesar asks her if her sister visited her.

"Yes."

"What did you say to her in the end?"

"I told her that I would try to win. I would try to win for her."

"Try you will." He stands and raises Katniss' hand over her head as the crowd cheers their hardest. "Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire!"

I look at Gale again. There is a glint in his eye. I know what that means. He knows Katniss is still there. Deep down, she's still the same girl. The Capitol can't take that away from her.

The district cheers for her, too. Peeta is up next. He strides to sit in the seat next to Caesar. Their interview is easy. Peeta is easy to talk to. The Capitol is just eating him up.

Caesar eventually asks if Peeta has a girlfriend. My stomach twists in ways I never knew it could. What will he say?

Peeta taps his foot nervously. "No."

I have to say I'm disappointed and relieved at the same time. He didn't say I was the love of his life, but he didn't say he loved anyone else, either. His interview is not over, though.

"A handsome lad like you? I don't buy it for a second. Do you," he asks the crowd. The crowd screams their opinion.

"Well, there is this one girl, but I'm pretty sure she didn't know I was alive before the Reaping." What? I knew he was alive. We were best friends…

"So, here's what you do. You win, you go home. She can't turn you down then." The crowd agrees with Caesar. Peeta's face begins to turn red. I would've dated him if he didn't win.

"Winning…won't help in my case."

The crowd is confused, as am I. My stomach begins to twist again. No, Peeta. You love me. You love me! Say it! Please, just say it.

"Because…because…she came here with me."

Shock overtakes me. As realization hits, I take off to an unknown destination. It wouldn't have been bad if he was lying. If he was just entertaining the crowd. It could all be a show. Just a performance. I know if Peeta is lying or not.

I know he was telling the truth. That's what hurts the most.

A/N-THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! I'll update tomorrow if I get seven reviews! Thank for reading!


	11. An empty spot in my life

A/N-THANKS FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT! Eight more reviews and I'll update tomorrow! REVIEW AGIN, PLEASE!

All different emotions overtake me at once. Extreme sadness overtakes me first. It was all in my head. Peeta never loved me. I was just a friend. That's all I was to him, or was I?

Hope fills me next as I think that maybe it was just a lie. Yeah, all just one big misunderstanding. I can't fool myself for a minute, though. He can lie well. Trust me, I've seen him do it. I don't know how, but I can just _tell._ I don't know how to explain it other than that.

I walk and think and try to sort my thoughts and emotions. I hear someone calling my name. I assume it's someone who cares for my wellbeing or some crap like that. I'm just not in the mood for being someone's charity case right now.

"Madge," the man is getting irritated. Oh, he sounds familiar…

"What do you want, Gale," I yell back, not bothering to turn around.

"Can you at least stop and look at me?"

"What do you _want, _Gale."

"What the hell, Madge? Mrs. Everdeen is worried, Prim is worried. Everyone is worried why you took off so quick."

I continue to powerwalk and don't look back. I don't want him to see the tears that are flooding my eyes. "Oh, don't start acting dumb now, Hawthorne. You know why I took off."

"Oh, so now you're calling me Hawthorne? I thought you said people should be called by their first names."

"Oh, shut up. I'm not in the mood." I still refuse to look at him.

"Anyway, what do you want me to say?" I don't answer. What? About what? "When they ask why you left," he clarifies.  
"Say seeing them was too much for me to handle or some crap like that."

I realize that I subconsciously chose the meadow as my location. That makes the tears overflow. This was the place where Peeta and I spent many hours goofing around, holding hands, and just enjoying each other's company. All of that will be gone whether he comes back or not.

I don't notice I stopped in front of the meadow until Gale catches up to me. "What's wrong?"

It's surprising Gale cares, or maybe he's just trying to be polite. Probably the latter. "You know how the woods is a special place you share with Katniss?"

I finally observe Gale's face. It's emotionless. "Yes."

"This was our place." The tears tumble down my face rapidly, but I ignore them as much as I can.

"He could've been lying," Gale offers. I just shake my head.

"He wasn't lying. I can tell when he's lying."

Gale stands in silence with me as we stare at the meadow. It's quite pretty. Beyond the fence, though, is where I really want to be. All the trees grow big and tall. No Peacekeepers. No one to judge you. Just freedom.

"Do you think she does, too," he asks, interrupting my daydream. I look at him confusedly.

"Huh?"

"Do you think she has feelings for him, too?"

I think back to all the times I was near Katniss. I never really noticed what she was doing. I was too busy staring at Peeta half of the time. There were times, though, when she glanced in his direction, but I always assumed that was to see who I was staring at. She was very interested in the wrestling match Peeta was in, though…

"I never really noticed." Just because my hope is ruined doesn't mean his has to be. We stand in silence.

"Well, this sucks," I blurt out, forgetting I wasn't alone.

"What?"

"The loves of our lives," I say while gesturing between us, "are supposedly in love with each other. What sucky luck."

"And in the Hunger Games," he adds. I sit down to get more comfortable in the grass. He sits, too.

"Have you dropped hints," I ask. I'm sorry, I just have to know. I don't see Gale as a big romantic.

"Many and she hasn't picked up on one. I bet she's still clueless. Gosh that girl just can't figure it out," he says as he throws his hands up in the air.

"I hear ya. I just don't know if he's pretending not to notice to be nice, or if he really doesn't get it!" I moan as I lay in the soft grass. "I tried to tell him at the Justice Building, but I guess I was scared and now it's too late." He could come back, but then Katniss won't. He'll feel guilty when it was never his fault. He won't have the constant bubbly attitude. "Idiot," I mutter to myself.

I peep at Gale through the corner or my eye to make sure I didn't scare him off. He's still there. He appears to be deep in thought. I wait for Gale to respond, but he doesn't.

"What did you say to her?"

"Some survival tips. That kind of stuff. Reassurance. I'm scared for her, though. Did you see District 2?" Why is he trying to change the subject? Huh, odd.

"Yeah, I did. What do you think they did to get such high scores?"

"Cato, he probably relies on brute strength, mostly. Probably uses some kind of weapon. I don't know about Clove. She could be agile, and I know she has to have a weapon for that high of a score. She must be pretty good at it, too."

His logic all makes sense to me. Agility can't really get you that high of a score, and neither can brute strength.

"Can I ask you a question," Gale asks.

"What?"

"Why are you so interested with that little girl…Lu?"

"Rue?" He nods his head. "Well…I guess she's just so young."

"That's it?"

"Doesn't she kinda look like Prim?"

"I guess."

Hm…Gale is being really nice today. Huh. I _never_ saw that coming. Maybe we're just missing our partners. He misses Katniss, and I remind him of her. I miss Peeta and he fills that empty space in my life. That makes sense. That's probably the _only_ thing that draws us together. We've never even had a decent conversation until Peeta and Katniss left. It all makes perfect sense.

Gale stands up and informs me he has to go eat dinner. I wave as he begins to stride away.

"Okay, see you later, Hawthorne!" I just couldn't resist.  
He turns around and shows a hint of a smile. "See ya, Undersee!"

"Oh, shut up," I say jokingly.

He turns back around and continues the journey to his home. He's really not that bad, actually. I was expecting a mean, stubborn, opinionated guy, but he's different.

I'm filling in an empty spot of his life, though, and he's filling mine. This is only temporary, and I'm sure he knows it, too. When the Games are over, we'll go back to our old lives.

Or what's left of it.

A/N-THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE AMAZING REVIEWS! LOVE YOU ALL! I'll update tomorrow if I get eight reviews! REVIEW, PLEASE!


	12. Someone was watching

A/N-Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! I'll update tomorrow if I receive nine reviews!

I come home to see my father deep in thought. Huh, that's weird. Why is he in the living room? He's usually in his office…

"Hey, dad." He turns to face my and smiles brilliantly. Oh, no. That's never a good sign.

"Hello, Margaret! How was your day?"

"Good…" He's being _too_ nice.

"Oh, that's wonderful!"

"What do you want me to do this time?" Last time he wanted me to hang out with my snotty brat of a cousin when she visited. It was terrible. I can only imagine what he wants me to do this time.

"I got you a date."

"What?" _He _got _me _a date? That was the area I had freedom. I can date when I want to with whomever I please, or not. I can marry if my heart wishes to, or not. This is where my little freedom is. I am _not_ going to give it up.

"No," I say simply as I stroll to the stairs. He blocks my way.

"Margaret Undersee, you have been associating with the lower class for too long. You need to associate with people on the same social level as you for a change. Is that too hard to ask of you after I put a roof over your head and food on your plate," he yells. Mood swing.

"Who cares about social classes? We're all in a miserable district. We all suffer. Who the hell cares about _social classes?_ Are you insane? You worry about social classes in the world you live in? Terrible."

"I have a reputation-,"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You have a reputation. Blah, blah, blah. Oh, and don't even pull that food crap. I'm your daughter. You're supposed to feed me. Oh, what a concept."

"Margaret, lose the attitude. You _will _go on a date with this boy. You _will _be polite. If you don't like him you don't have to go out with him again."

"So…you want me to get a boyfriend?"

"Apparently you do."

My cheeks instantly heat up. Does the whole district know that I love Peeta? Seriously? I knew I should've never told Gale! My father is waiting for a response. "What," I spit out. Great, Madge. You're such a spaz.

"Someone informed me that you were looking pretty cozy with the Hawthorne boy in the meadow this afternoon."

"Who would tattle on me for such a stupid thing?"

"Someone I asked to look out for you."

"Are you serious? Someone's been watching me?"

"I knew something fishy was going on, Madge! I was going to get to the bottom of it."

I realized a few things at that moment. My father _has_ been keeping an eye on me. A little too close for comfort, but aren't fathers supposed to be protective? My dad is a loon. Only a mentally unstable person would send a spy to look after their daughter. I also realize I should be very angry at my father right now, and I am.

"How dare you," I screech.

"Madge, I-,"

"You didn't let me finish," I interrupt him. "That was an invasion on my privacy. That was an invasion on Gale's privacy. That just shows that _you _don't trust me!"

"What?"

"You could've asked _me _what was going on, but you didn't. Instead, you rely on this weird guy who apparently spies on me to tell you what's going on in _my _life! My life!"

"I trust him."

Ouch. That hurt. "Oh, but you don't trust me. I get it," I say in a hurt whisper. I maneuver around him and pad up the stairs. "Gale and I are just friends," I call down to him, "so apparently he wasn't as trustworthy as you thought."

I decide to get dressed for my date I just found out about. I don't wear anything too fancy. I throw on a simple light blue dress. It is slightly short since I grew, but I honestly don't really care.

The conversation I just had with my father really does upset me. He trusts this guy, but he doesn't trust me? His own flesh and blood? Is that not supposed to offend me because it really does.

I try to look back into my memory for some recollection of a face that kept popping up. I just can't think of anyone. There's Gale, but he would never tell my father. There are the Everdeens, but they barely leave the house as it is. The rest of the Hawthornes? I don't know about them…

Gale and I weren't cozy in the meadow. We weren't cozy _at all._ We were barely even close to each other.

I amble out of my room to my mother's. I haven't spoken to her in a long time. I want to talk to her, but she's never awake. I just need to talk it out. My mother will be perfect for that.

I enter her room, and immediately see that she's asleep. I consider going back to my room, but I would rather stay with my mother.

"Hi, mom." I don't expect an answer. I face my back to her to pretend that she's awake. "Did you hear what dad did? He sent someone to spy on me! Can you believe it? He admitted it, too. That guy said that I was looking cozy with Gale. Whatever that means. I was not cozy with Gale! We were just sitting in the grass and talking. Jeez, you have one conversation with a guy, and people make assumptions. Anyway, now dad thinks I want a boyfriend, but I don't. He didn't ask me, either. He just assumed I did. So, know there's a random guy coming over to take me on a date. I really don't want to go. I don't see the point! Dad doesn't care if I like the guy; he just wants me to date someone from town. Isn't that terrible?"

"Very." The answer surprises me. I swing my head around to see my deathly ill mother. She gives me a weak smile, and I give her one back. "You should still go, though."

"What? I thought you were on my side!"

"This mystery boy is expecting to go on a date with you. Don't make it awkward by not going. Who knows? Maybe you'll even have a good time."

"I guess."

""Who do you think it is," my mother asks with a giddy smile. I can tell she's excited I'm finally dating.

"No clue." Someone knocks on the door very gently.

"I guess you'll find out."

I don't know why but butterflies flutter in my stomach. Maybe because this is my first official date with a boy. I wonder who I'm going to share it with…

A/N-Hi! Hope you enjoyed! REVIEW, PLEASE! If I get nine reviews I'll update tomorrow! Thanks!


	13. Revenge

A/N-Hi! I just wanted to say first off that I will be sticking to the books. Let's just say that Katniss really didn't pay attention to Peeta when they got home. Let's just leave it at that. So, Katniss and Peeta will end up together in the end. It's my vision. It's what I want to happen. Anyways, THANKS FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! REVIEW, AGAIN, PLEASE! Eight more reviews and I'll review tomorrow!

My father is nowhere to be found, which surprises me. You'd think he would be here to make sure I'd go on this stupid date because he apparently doesn't trust me. No, no. His work is more important than me. He's locked away in his office as usual.

I open the door to reveal a strapping young man dressed in a simple button down shirt and long, black pants. He surprisingly looks a lot like Peeta. Peeta. The mere thought of his name makes my heart lurch. I was trying _not_ to think of him. I was doing so well!

The boy in front of me doesn't say anything. I smile to try to ease his nerves, but he obviously looks really nervous. I decide to give him a break. "Hello," I say as I hold out my hand. "My name is Madge."

"I'm Patrick," he announces as he shakes my hand. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Finally?" His cheeks turn rosy red and his hands retreat to his pockets.

"Y-yeah, I um, I," he stutters. He laughs nervously. "I've seen you around, and um, I always thought you were, um, really pretty, and I…I just always really wanted to get to know you."

My cheeks turn rosy red as well. "Aw, thanks." He smiles. Maybe this won't be that bad. I mean he has a striking resemblance to Peeta. Stop thinking about him, Madge! Don't you dare cry in front of this poor boy!

"Wait one second. I have to go get my shoes." I jog upstairs to retrieve my black flats. They're the most comfortable and the most practical.

I rummage through my closet and eventually find my shoes under my other junk. I put them on and quickly glance in the mirror next to my closet. I look decent. That's good…I guess.

I go down the stairs two by two to keep my date from waiting. Besides, it's more fun that way. Peeta and I used to have competitions to see who could go down the stairs the fastest. He would always win of course, but it was just fun to be around him. My mood instantly deflates. This guy will never match up to him. Peeta will always have a permanent place in my heart.

I don't realize I've stopped until Theo shoves me toward the door. I smile at him. He grins back. I wonder if he knows…

"No need to be nervous. I'm sure you'll have a great time."

I nod, pretending that's the reason for my actions. He doesn't know about Peeta. I would really like to keep it that way. Not everyone needs to know about my personal life.

I scuttle to the door and open it. It was only partly closed. My date still waits patiently while examining the flowers.

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks," I reply as color rushes back to my cheeks. My sadness returns. Peeta used to call me beautiful.

I step out of my house while closing the door behind me without another word. "I got us some reservations at the restaurant in town if you would like to go."

A restaurant? Sounds like it will be too much like a…date. Peeta would've taken me to a restaurant. He would've taken me to the meadow afterwards. We would've watched the stars…

Tears threaten to tumble down my cheeks at the thought of Peeta. Peeta will not be mentioned tonight. I will not think of him for the rest of the night. One night. I can cry all I want to tomorrow, but tonight is a night of revenge.

"I would love to, but I already ate," I lie. I'm wonderful at lying. I'm also wonderful at talking people into doing things. A scary trait to have, but it comes in handy. I begin to twirl my hair. I stare at the ground, trying to appear nervous. "I was thinking we could go out for a drink or two."

"What? Are you old enough?"

"Not technically, but it's not like it'll kill anybody. It's just a few drinks. That's all." I'm using my persuasive voice. I can tell he's considering the idea. Wouldn't my father love for me to be drinking with a boy he picked out for me? Sweet, sweet revenge.

"It's against the law to drink under the age of eighteen."

"People do it all the time," I try to convince him. "Did anything happen to them? No. They're perfectly fine."

"I don't know…"

No, no, no! I'll have to pull out the big guns, and I _hate _to lead him on. I take a step toward him and cup his cheek. I trail the length of his jaw. His eyes widen. He looks so much like Peeta…

Tears threaten to fall. I can't let them. Peeta is at home. He's perfectly fine. He never was reaped. I'll see him soon. I have to pretend tonight.

My other hand finds the nape of his neck. "We'll go to the bar in the Seam. No one will know. We'll have a few drinks and come back. Okay? It'll be fun."

"Why can't we just go to the restaurant?" I see that he's caving in. I hate to do this to him, but my father deserves it. I just hate to do this.

I return my hands to my sides. "Going to a restaurant means I have to be proper. I'm sick of being proper! I just want to let go for tonight, okay?"

"Okay." He stares at me long and hard. "You won't tell your father about this, okay?"

"Okay." Finding out is different. If I come home so drunk I can barely stand, that's a whole different story. I won't have to tell him. Plus, this will make me forget about Peeta. Peeta…

"Let's go," I say happily as I grab his hand. I just have to fake tonight. None of this will be real. I know it sounds terrible, but life's terrible. He'll get over it.

We arrive at the bar shortly after we saunter past the last of the town shops. Patrick looks nervous, but I assure him not to be. We step into the crowded bar. I am as nervous as Patrick looks. I don't let it show, though. I just act like I'm used to this ruckus. I pretend like this is nothing out of the norm.

Men whistle as I stroll by with Patrick close behind. I smile and pretend to be flattered, but I'm really not. They whistle to all of the girls. They're players.

I sit on an empty stool. Patrick sits on the one next to mine. I gaze at the crowd and spot a familiar face. Come on. Gale? Seriously? Today of all days.

He spots me, too, and nods a hello. I shy away from his stare and look back to Patrick. He's observing the crowd, too. I wave the bartender over to give me something to do. Oh, I hope Gale gets the hint and stays away. Don't you dare bother me, Hawthorne.

The bartender sees me and strides toward us. "What would you like," she asks.

"Can you give me something light to start off," I say. "Same for him, too."

"Okay." She ambles away to do who knows what. Patrick stares at me.

"People are staring," he whispers. No one was staring at me except for Gale…

"You're just overreacting," I whisper back. "They're just staring because we're from town. Stop worrying." Hopefully the alcohol will calm him.

The bartender comes back with two drinks. I wonder what it is… "Here you go," she says as she places one drink by me and one by Patrick.

"Thank you," I say to her. She smiles and scampers off to help the drunkard on the other side of the room.

"Are you sure you should be doing this?" Me? Jeez, he's responsible and selfless. I used to be like that. It's fun to let go. I take a large swig from my drink as a response.

"See? It's fine. Just let loose, okay?" I place a hand on his arm. "It's _fine_," I stress.

He takes a large swig from his drink, too. I smile at him as I remove my hand from his arm. As I said before, I hate to lead him on, but it's the only way. I know I'll feel awful later, but this is revenge to my father.

I glance in Gale's direction, and he's still staring at me. I turn my gaze to Patrick again. I don't need him to ruin my plans. Not now. Not here.

We drink and drink some more of the light alcohol. It does calm my nerves, and I can tell it calms Patrick's nerves, too.

"Give us the strongest stuff you got," I tell the bartender as she comes to refill our drinks. She nods and gives us a different drink.

Maybe it was the alcohol I had already consumed, but I would've never done that if I was thinking straight. The fun part is that I'm not. Patrick pretty much goes along with what I say.

I take a large mouthful of my new drink. It definitely tastes a lot stronger than the stuff I've been drinking.

"How old are you," I ask. I barely know this guy. Might as well find out a little about him.

"Eighteen." My ears perk up.

"Really?" He nods. I drink some more as does he. My dad got me a date with an older guy…interesting.

"I heard you play the piano," he says a little too loud. I laugh. I don't know why. It must be the alcohol. "Is that true?"  
"Yeah, I haven't played in a bit. Haven't had a lot of free time."

"Why is that?"

"Boys are constantly pounding on my door," I say sarcastically. We both laugh.

We drink some more and laugh and just have a great time. I drink so much I can't even think straight anymore. Everything becomes a blur.

"It's getting late," I slur.

"Don't leave yet," he slurs back.

"I have to."

"I guess I'll get going, too." He stands up as I do. I wobble on my feet.

I place some coins on the table, and he does, too. The bartender smiles at us as we stumble our way out of the bar.

"That was really fun."

"I told you." I pause and think about our earlier conversation. "Hey, why were you so scared to go to the bar earlier if you were old enough to drink?"

"I was worried about you."

"Oh."

We stagger into town. It's late, I can tell. How long were we gone? It didn't seem like that long. It seemed like we were only there for an hour or so.

We eventually come to my house and I bid him a goodbye. He looks like he's about to kiss me. I decide to wish him a safe trip home at that precise moment.

"I'll see you soon," I tell him as I wobble up to my front door.

"See ya soon." I can tell he's disappointed. I just don't want a relationship right now.

I hobble into my home. My father is infuriated. He's pacing back and forth in the living room. Theo looks sorry for me. I expected as much. My father will not take this lightly. I decide to joke before the yelling begins.

"Did ya miss me?"

A/N-Madge is rebellious. Who knew? I hope you liked the chapter! REVIEW, PLEASE! Eight more reviews and I'll update tomorrow!


	14. Death begins

A/N-Enjoy! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! REVIEW, AGAIN, PLEASE! Eight more reviews and I'll update tomorrow! I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE!

"Margaret Jane Undersee, where have you been?"

He only uses my middle name when he's upset. Oh, I'm upset, too, buddy. "Where do ya think I've been?"

I can see he's trying to control his temper. "Sit down," he says as he points to the couch. I obey. He remains standing. "Were you drinking?"

"No," I say while I shake my head. I also slur my answer, so I don't think he buys it. I promised Patrick I wouldn't tell, and I'm not. I love loopholes.

"Don't you dare lie to me!" His voice has risen considerably, but it doesn't bother me. I'm used to it. "We all know where you've been!"

"So…"

"You are grounded until further notice. No piano, no friends, no nothing! Do you understand me?"

"Oh, that stinks. I can't visit my nonexistent friends? What a bummer," I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It's not my fault you're incapable of making suitable friends!"

"Yes it is!" My voice has also risen into a shout. "You're exactly the reason! You wanna know why no one talks to me? It's all because of you! You're the reason!"

"Madge-,"

"You didn't let me finish. You," I point my finger at him to get my point across, "are the reason. People hate me because I'm the mayor's daughter! Not because of me, but you!"

"You make me look bad!" What? "I try and I try to shape you into an acceptable young girl, but you always do something wrong! First it was Gale, now the drinking! What next, Madge? What next?"

"I'm sorry if I'm not the perfect little girl you want me to be, but I'm never going to be that girl! How long will it take for you to realize that?" Tears are already forming.

"You were!"

"I never was," I shriek. "I was pretending for you. That girl is gone. This is me."

"Margaret, I don't care. Get your act together."

"You never did," I mumble to myself. I don't know if he heard, but I hope he did. Tears begin to tumble down my cheeks at a rapid pace. My father's expression softens when he sees them. "Fine," I say as I stand up. "I think we understand where each other is coming from now." Tears are streaming down my face.

"Margaret-,"

"Don't even bother," I tell him as I march up the stairs.

"Margaret," he says firmly.

"Just leave me alone," I scream at the top of my lungs. I stumble into my room and onto my bed. I curl into a fetal position and just pray tomorrow will be better.

I cry myself to sleep that night.

Headaches awake me. I am brought back into reality the moment I wake up. The Games. The actual Games are starting today. How could I forget? How could I be so stupid?

How can I handle it? The other interviews, the training scores, the Reaping were nothing. They were just preparing me for what was to come. They were preparing me for the killing, the betrayal, and the lives that will be lost. Peeta could be gone by tomorrow. Katniss could be dead by morning.

They won't be stupid enough to go for the supplies at the Cornucopia. I know that. They could still get killed a number of different ways. What if they bump into another tribute? What if they can't get out fast enough?

As I'm debating things in my head, I glance at the clock in my room. It's almost time to go to the town square, and my head hurts like crazy. There's something that catches my eye. Ugh. There's a stupid spider, and it made a stupid spider web. I retrieve one of my shoes. I'm about to kill it when something clicks in my head.

Death is a lot like spiders. Death is hidden. It does not like to be exposed. Death takes lives whether they should be taken or not. It does not care.

The spider is no different. Spiders hide and wait for its prey. It takes whatever it can. Bugs don't see it coming. The more they struggle in the web, the more they get tangled. The spider goes in for the kill, and death makes a reappearance.

I smack my shoe so hard against the wall, that it leaves scuff marks. "Really," I mutter to myself. I wipe at the scuff marks, but they keep their place on the wall.

I amble to the bathroom and wipe the spider off of my shoe. I can't help to feel a little bit bad to kill the little guy. He did nothing wrong, but then I think about where Peeta is right now. I suddenly feel less guilty.

I hate how time flies when you don't want it to. It's already time to go to the town square. I slip on some flats and run out of the house. I say goodbye to Theodore on my way out. The Games help me not to think about my headaches.

The streets are eerily silent as I stroll to the town square. There are people on their way to the town square, too, but they're so quiet I can't even tell. No one says a word. No one dares break the silence.

The town square is packed when I arrive, but it's _so_ quiet. People murmur. Babies cry. That's it. I'm kind of glad, though. I don't want to pretend like everything is all okay. I'm done with pretending. The silence also helps with my headache.

I naturally spot out Katniss' family in the group. I see Mr. Mellark among the people, but I want to be with Prim and her mother. I'm more comfortable around them.

Smile. I have to smile in front of Mr. Mellark. I wave at him and he waves back. His family stands behind him. Patrick stands by him, too. Is Patrick Peeta's brother?

"Hello," I say to Mrs. Everdeen and Prim. The Hawthornes aren't there yet.

"Hi," Prim murmurs back. Mrs. Everdeen just smiles. Well, she attempts to.

Time slowly ticks away. I mean excruciatingly slow. The Hawthornes finally arrive right before the Games begin. Everyone says hello except for Gale. Huh, that's odd.

I stand next to Gale for two reasons. Rory looks like he really wants to stand next to Prim and he can't do that if I am. The second reason is that I've learned to appreciate Gale's company. Appreciate is a good word. It doesn't insinuate anything.

Gale ignores me as I take my place next to him. Hm, he must just be scared.

"Hi," I say to him. No one is really near us. We're kind of out of the group. We're the outcasts. I'm used to being the outcast. Peeta was never the outcast. He was always with a group of people. He just has a magnetic personality.

Gale ignores my greeting. "Gale?" His eyes dart to me for a fraction of a second. "Gale?"

"Oh, so _now_ you bother to acknowledge me? Why don't you hang around with that townie of yours?"

"What are you talking about?" Please don't start now…

"I saw you at the bar. Did you bother to acknowledge me? Are you too embarrassed to be seen hanging around with people from the Seam in front of your new boyfriend?" He says boyfriend in more of a snarl.

"Gale, it wasn't like that," I sigh. He rolls his eyes. "Gale, I'm sorry! I would've, but I was on a date!" Gale's expression doesn't change. "He's not even my boyfriend." Gale still refuses to say a word. "You just wouldn't understand."

"Understand what?"

"I was trying to get back at my father by drinking!"

"Why?"  
"He set me up with that guy. To get back at him I decided to talk my date into going to the bar with me. I was afraid he would get jealous of you or intimidated by you or something and leave."

"So you were afraid I was going to screw everything up?"

"Gale, stop being so difficult." He says nothing. "Gale."

The screen comes to life and shows the announcers. They smile and express how happy they are for the Games. After their peppy speech is over, they show the tributes. I cross my arms defiantly over my chest and try not to look as scared as I am.

I'll have to explain everything to Gale later. You can always count on him to be angry about _something._ If I sneeze, he'll say I'm being dramatic about the coal dust. I'll have to test that theory out soon.

The clock is already ticking away. It's ticking away the final moments of someone's life. Who will it be? Katniss? Peeta? Rue? Time holds the answer.

Ten more seconds before the killing begins. I look at Gale. "I'm sorry," I whisper. He looks at me with a confused expression. Five more seconds left. Peeta and Katniss exchange a look. "I'm sorry for everything." No matter what happens, I want him to know. I want a clean slate.

The gong sounds and his eyes are glued back to the screen. Maybe it's because he's so frightened. Maybe it's because he understands I didn't mean to ignore him. Maybe I'm just imagining things. I am almost positive he whispered, "I'm sorry, too."

The tributes immediately begin slaughtering each other. The younger children close their eyes while their mothers clutch their ears. Screams fill the town square. I want to look away, but I can't.

I try to find Katniss and Peeta in the brawl. Katniss managed to grab a backpack. Another boy grabs the backpack, too. They tug at it and the boy falls over suddenly. I try to find the cause, but I don't see one. Oh, now I do. The girl from District 2, Clove I believe, killed the boy with a knife. Crap. She's going after Katniss next.

"She shouldn't have gone," Gale murmurs. I totally agree.

Katniss holds the backpack up to protect herself while she sprints toward the forest. I sigh in relief. She made it. Katniss can make it in the forest. She has an advantage.

Peeta is the next person I spot. He has a knife in his hand. "Does he have a death wish," I mutter under my breath angrily. Peeta knows better. I told him to fight. I told him to.

Peeta spots a small girl. She looks maybe fourteen. The girl tries to escape from the battle. No one sees her but Peeta. She's lucky. If the Careers saw her she'd be dead by now.

Peeta does something odd. He runs after her. What is he doing? He chucks the knife in her direction. It plants itself into her back. She falls over, dead. Peeta stands there, expressionless. He stares at the small girl.

Cato casually saunters next to him and observes the girl, too. Information begins to click inside my head. "Not bad," he admits to Peeta.

Peeta nods. He dislodges the knife from the girl's back and puts himself back into the midst of the fight.

I know two things.

Peeta has joined the Careers. That is the worst thing you can possibly do. The Careers are your enemies, not your allies. He knows that.

There is one more thing I know for sure.

That boy on the screen is not my Peeta.

A/N-SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! School has been demanding. Eight more reviews and I'll update tomorrow! REVIEW, PLEASE SO I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO WRITE!


	15. Freedom

A/N-SO MANY WONDERFUL REVIEWS! THANK YOU! EIGHT MORE REVIEWS AND I'LL REVIEW TOMORROW! THANKS AGAIN! REVIEW, AGAIN, PLEASE!

After the Bloodbath the cannons begin to sound. It's absolutely horrific. One after the other until all souls are accounted for. I know one of those cannons belong to the girl Peeta killed. I wonder if he regrets it. I wonder if he feels sorry at all for what he did.

What would I feel if I had killed someone? What would I feel to know that I had taken away someone's lover? What if they had a family to get back to? To know I deliberately took away someone's future? I don't think I'd be able to live with myself. How can the Careers do it as a sport?

The Careers don't feel. They are the hunters and everyone else is the prey. They need the prize. They don't care about the cost. They believe they will win. There is no doubt in their mind. In some sick way they enjoy the kills. They savor the last breath their victim takes. They don't make their victim's death fast, they enjoy every last minute of it. Life to them is disposable. They were trained to kill with no mercy and that's exactly what they do.

I pictured Peeta in terrible situations. I once dreamt of him being chased by a pack of Careers. I dreamt of him dying of dehydration. I imagined him giving up and committing suicide. I pictured many things, many terrible scenarios, but I never could've possibly dreamt of this. Who would've thought he would pair up with the Careers? If he wanted an ally why didn't he just partner up with Katniss? They would've made a wonderful team!

I don't realize the town square has been clearing out until Gale nudges me. I smile at him. He returns a tight lipped one. I sometimes wonder if he's different in the woods. Does he smile a big toothy grin? Does he laugh out loud? Does he joke around? I don't know. I probably never will.

Katniss always said that she felt freer in the woods. She never felt like she was being watched. She never had to hold her tongue. She had the power to say and do whatever she pleased. I always thought she was so lucky to know that kind of freedom. I crave that kind of freedom on a daily basis.

I begin to walk with Gale outside of the town square while my mind continues to wander. My mother used to tell me stories about a free government. The people used to have a say to who governed them. They had _rights_. They could say whatever they wished. Panem used to be the United States of America, a free country for all.

There were other countries, too. You were allowed to flee from one country to the next. How crazy is that? Why can't we have that? Why were the people so stupid? Their lives were _perfect._ Perfect! How could they just screw that up for the rest of us?

Sometimes I believe I was born in the wrong time. Sometimes I think that I was supposed to be born during the United States of America and enjoy the luxuries of life. I would never have the feeling of someone always watching. Someone always waiting for me to say something wrong.

I wonder if my mother wouldn't be sick. I wonder if my father would be home. I wonder if Peeta would be my lover. These are all fantasies of course, but you just have to wonder what it could've been like.

I glance at my surroundings and notice Gale at my side. Jeez, I really blanked out. I hate it when you get lost in thought. I always hate coming back to reality.

I stare at Gale. We already passed his house a while ago. "My mom told me to walk you home."

I nod. "Oh." Of course his mother said to. He wouldn't do it willingly. Would he?

"Whatcha been thinking about?"

"America." The foreign word rolls off my tongue. It sounds funny in the air.

"What?"

"America used to be where Panem was. Oh, Gale, it was wonderful! They had all these rights and a free country! They were free!"

"Where'd you hear that?"

"My mother told me all about it in my bedtime stories when I was little."

We fall into silence. We normally do. The only thing that changes is who decides to break it.

My mother had also told me that there were no Hunger Games in this country. They celebrated real holidays. No one had to die. No one lost a loved one. There were actual reasons to celebrate. Christmas was a holiday my mother talked about a lot. She said that children would receive presents from a jolly old man named Santa. He would only give presents to the good children and coal to the bad. I believe both are good presents. You always need coal to heat your house. My kids will never meet the man they call Santa.

Gale moseys silently next to me. He has hunter's feet. I've always wondered if my footsteps sound loud to him. I think they're pretty quiet, but Gale might have a different opinion.

We reach my house quickly. I don't want to face my father alone. Maybe he won't even be there. He might, though. Ugh, I might as well invite him…

"Do you want to come inside?"

"I really couldn't," he insists. Come one, work with me!

"Please?"

"I don't know…"

I eventually grab his hand and tug him inside. I know he's much stronger than me. I know he can probably break away from my grasp with very little effort, but he doesn't. He follows me obediently into the house. I can't face my father alone, and he'll be nicer in front of guests. Hopefully. My plan could totally backfire. It's known to do that.

I open the door as quietly as I can to not disturb my mother. The maids and butlers are scurrying around trying to finish their jobs. I have numerous people in and out of this house, so I usually don't bother to remember names. I'm used to foreign faces by now.

Gale doesn't look too comfortable with the extra company. I amble up to Theo and ask him to look after my mother. He raises his eyebrows at me and looks at Gale.

"Okay. Behave you two."

"We're just friends," I sigh. Theo doesn't look too convinced as he forces the other maid up with him to check on my mother.

"Alone at last," I sigh. Gale tentatively takes a few steps closer.

"Are they always around?" I nod. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"Very much so." I stride over to the kitchen and think of anything I can make. "Are you hungry? Do you want anything?"

"No thanks."

Okay…what am I supposed to do now? The Games are still on. I see them playing on the television in the living room. I try to ignore the sounds of the screaming children.

He spots the piano in the living room. "Do you play?" I nod. "Can I hear you?"

"Sure." An odd request, but I'll do it anyway. I make my way to the grand piano and scan the keys while I sit on the bench. I haven't played in a while. "Was there anything you had in mind?"

Gale has also taken a seat next to me on the piano bench. "I don't know any songs."

"Oh, okay." I decide to play something light and cheery to distract from the television. I also try to ignore Gale's proximity to me.

I start off a little scratchy. I miss a couple of notes. I hold a key for too long. My fingers don't move fast enough during some parts. Eventually, though, I lose myself in the music. I close my eyes and think of happy things. Most of my thoughts revolve around Peeta.

The tune slowly draws to an end, and I wait for Gale to say something. He doesn't. I open my eyes to find him staring at me.

"Was I that bad?" I suddenly become self-conscious. I haven't played for a long time.

"No, you were really good."

My cheeks turn an embarrassing color. "Thanks."

We haven't got this whole conversation thing down yet. Sometimes we'll get lucky and find something to talk about, but other times we usually end up in silence.

"You were saying something about...America? What was that all about?"

"The United Stated of America?" He nods. This should be fun.

We spend the rest of the time blabbing about America. We imagine the freedom that came with this country. So close, yet so far. I told him of the different holidays they celebrated. I told him that the Hunger Games never existed. They never would exist in this free country because of what they believed in.

Gale is so fascinated with this idea of America. He listens keenly to every word I say. He never interrupts.

That's how we spend the rest of our day. We talk about the country we will never live in, but will always dream of.

A/N-THANKS FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! EIGHT MORE REVIEWS AND I'LL UPDATE TOMORROW! REVIEW!


	16. It shouldn't bother me

A/N-Sorry about the long update! School has been mean! My father also had a stroke, so please keep him in your prayers. Oh, and a couple of things-

1. I learned from experience that the only way to get a lot of people to review is to say if I get a certain amount of reviews that I'll review the next day. People usually don't bother.

2. Please pray for my father to make a full recovery from his stroke.

3. THANK YOU!

The empty spot in my heart is getting more noticeable every day that he is gone. I miss his smile. I miss his jokes. I would give anything to hear his laugh. I just want to hear it one last time.

I feel like curling up and crying all day, but I try to be strong. Peeta would've wanted me to be strong. I do cry, though, before the second day of the Games start. I cry and cry in my bedroom until I run out of tears. I'm sure my father can hear me as well as the maids and the butlers. I know I shouldn't be like this, but sometimes I wonder why there isn't anyone there to comfort me.

The fact makes me cry more. Why isn't there anyone to just hug me? Peeta was that one person that could make me smile in the darkest of times. He was always there for me. He was my rock. Why can't someone just tell me everything is okay? Does my father hate me? Why doesn't he talk to my anymore? Why is my mother never around? Why does this all have to happen to me? Why can't I just be loved by someone?

Sometimes I sit and just wonder if it's me. Maybe it's my fault I don't have friends. Maybe it's my fault my father won't talk to me anymore. Maybe my mother would be better if I didn't pester her so much. Maybe things would be different. Maybe Peeta would want to be more than friends. Of course, though, I just have to mess everything up.

The saddest part is that I actually expect someone to come. I stare at the door and hope someone comes, but no one does. No one ever does. I just sit in my room and cry until I have to go out in public. Then, I have to smile and pretend that everything is perfect. Fake smile and wave and make decent conversation. None of it's real, but that's what you get when you're the mayor's daughter.

How dare my father say I disappoint him? I have done everything he's wanted me to do! I've worked my butt of to establish my good girl reputation! I've taken all of that abuse for him! I've lied for him! I've given up so much for him! I'm sick of it! I'm done. I can't do this anymore.

I wipe at my eyes and I think of my life. Everything is wrong. I'm still young, but my future doesn't look very bright from where I stand. Everything is falling apart.

Sometimes I wonder why my father doesn't look phased. I know I do. I think of my mother every second of the day. I cry for her. I pray for her. He pretends like nothing is wrong. It really makes me kind of angry.

I slip out of my room and make my way to the front door. I see some maids and Theo, and I wave to them. They smile at me.

I exit the house. I am going to watch the Games in the town square. I can't watch it at my house. I want a break. I hope Prim is there, and Mrs. Everdeen, and the Hawthornes, too.

The town square doesn't have a lot of people like yesterday, but that's okay. I didn't really want to see a lot of people anyway. The Everdeens and the Hawthornes aren't there. That's a shame. I was looking forward to seeing them. I debate whether to go to the Everdeen household, but decide against it. I don't really feel in the mood for company now.

The screen displays the arena very vividly. They give a recap of the Bloodbath. I look away. I really don't want to see it again. Then the announcer declares, "Peeta Mellark made a surprise alliance with the Careers." That's my signal to watch again.

Every new day of the Games, they always do a recap. They want to make sure everyone saw all of the blood and gore. The announcer pretty much states the obvious. He talks about who is in the alliance. The announcer surprises me when he says, "Peeta Mellark made another kill last night. This one was a young girl from District 8 who started a fire in the middle of the night. Poor girl fell asleep, and she was dead by morning."

Peeta made another kill? I didn't see that one coming. I expected Katniss to make all of the kills. Peeta clearly doesn't have as much experience as the Careers. You can tell by all of the bruises and cuts he gained. I still don't know why he went. He knows the Careers aren't trustworthy. They could kill him in the night if they really wanted to. Heck they could kill him flat out in the daytime. The Careers have no remorse. That's how they were bred.

Peeta, on the other hand, has feelings. He knows life is precious. He knows the Games are wrong. He's highly against it. He told me. My Peeta is not a cold blooded killer. Something is wrong. My Peeta does not love Katniss. He loves me.

The announcer is confused by the smile Katniss gave. He suggests maybe this was a preplanned thing. I doubt it. Katniss has barely spoken a word to Peeta, and I doubt she's going to start now.

That's the end of the recaps. They start playing the new footage. I can tell right away that Katniss needs water. Well, the announcer kind of says that she needs water, but I would've guessed that anyway.

I wonder what Gale is thinking. I sometimes wonder if he really does believe Katniss will win. I mean, does he have any doubt of her victory? It only takes one knife, or a spear, or just someone's bare hands on her throat…

I do have doubts whether Peeta will win or not. I have to be honest. What is his motivation? Katniss has Prim to come back to. Peeta has me, but he doesn't know that.

Katniss ends up finding a pond. Peeta and the Careers try to hunt down some more children. The main thing is that neither of them died.

I break away from the town square as soon as I can. The screen still plays as I stroll toward the meadow. The meadow is always the place I go to when I miss Peeta.

As I'm walking, I notice two figures. I squint to try to make them out. It's Gale and the jeweler's daughter. Ugh. She's popping up too much in my life.

I still can't tell what they're doing, though. I walk closer, but I wish I hadn't. They're…kissing. Ugh. Who would want to kiss that ugly witch?

I know Gale and I are barely friends, and I know we're not together, and I know this shouldn't bother me, but….it does.

A/N-Thanks to everyone for sticking with this story! Sorry for the late update! Standardized testing is next week, so I might not be able to update. Eight more reviews and I'll update by Saturday. If not, I have no clue when my next update will be. REVIEW, PLEASE!


	17. I need someone

A/N-Thank you for all of the reviews! Eight more reviews and I'll update tomorrow!

I stand there with my mouth agape. The sight truly disgusts me. Katniss, the love of his life, is in the Hunger Games and he's just kissing random girls? Are you kidding me? Apparently he doesn't love her as much as he leads on. I couldn't even imagine kissing anyone but Peeta. I mean, how could he? How could he kiss that evil witch?

Should I keep on my way to the meadow? It would be so awkward of he saw me. Jeez, this is so awkward already. I know that snob sees me. She thinks I'm jealous. Ha. I'm surprised. He thought I was stuck up. I can't wait till she opens _her_ bratty mouth. Gale will think I'm a saint.

I scurry away hoping that Gale didn't see me. I pray he didn't see me. It shouldn't surprise me, really. Gale is a player. I've heard the girls talk about him at school. He kisses girls at the slagheap, and that's it. There's no second date. He moves onto the next one. All of the girls want him because he's cute. What about his personality?

I want a husband with a great heart. I want someone who'll kiss me in the rain like I heard in old stories. I want someone who'll bring me flowers. I want someone who'll bring me happiness in my darkest hour. I want someone who'll tell me I'm beautiful. I want someone who'll hold me when I cry. I want Peeta.

I jog the rest of the way to my house with tears in my eyes that I refuse to let fall. I open the door to my house very quietly. Theo is cleaning the kitchen floor. The maids dust. I sit on the bench of the piano and play a song that makes me think of Peeta every time I hear it.

He told me once that he thought this song was beautiful. I wanted to tell him the song was about him, but I didn't. I wish I did.

I stay at home and watch the Games today. My father left before I even woke up. My mother is heavily drugged. Theo went to the market. I'm alone with the maids as usual. There is nothing to do but watch the horror that comes with Games.

I try to busy myself with the piano, but the television is blaring. It's kind of hard to ignore. I try to busy myself with cooking, but not knowing what happened in the Games is almost as bad as knowing. I sit down and watch the Games. I watch the recaps. I watch the forest fire destroy the trees. I watch the fire burn Katniss. I watch Peeta run with the Careers. I watch everything.

The recaps end and I'm almost grateful. The worst is yet to come, though. Katniss fell asleep at the pond. "Wake up," I mumble. "Wake up." I urge her to get up. "Don't die now." She can't just give up! The camera pans back to the Careers. They're coming that way. They're coming! Get up, Katniss! Get up!

Thank goodness for Katniss that the Careers are loud. She wakes up at the last second. Her eyes go wide and she runs. Her leg is bad, though. She decides to climb a tree. Is that the best she can do? She's going to die. Oh, no. Don't give up on me now, Katniss.

She goes up the tree quickly, but the Careers still see her. She could've hid. She must have a plan because she's smiling. She could just be going insane. That's probably it. She's gone nutty in the head.

The Careers think it's a joke. The Careers share playful banter with Katniss. She doesn't even seem concerned as Cato tries to climb up the tree. She climbs a little bit higher. Cato snaps the branch and goes flailing down. Oh, I get it now. The Careers are too big. They'll break the branches, and that dumb blonde, Glimmer I believe, can't shoot those arrows. Ha. Katniss outsmarted them once again. I never should've doubted her.

The Careers discuss what to do. Peeta suggests that they wait. The rest of the Careers agree. I stare at Peeta. Why would he say that? Why would he want Katniss to die? Katniss and Peeta exchange a glance. Katniss looks confused as well. Katniss may be many things, but she's loyal. I can't believe Peeta didn't try to help her! Katniss would've.

Peeta even kind of looks like one of them now, one of the Careers. I never thought that would happen. I want the old Peeta to come back. I don't want this Peeta. I want the one with the shy smiles, the bright laugh, the kind words, and the caring heart. I want him.

The Careers set up a camp around the tree. I think I fall asleep. The sound of knocking wakes me up. I get up with a groan and trudge to the door, but I quickly glance at the screen. Katniss got a parachute. That's good. Her leg should be feeling better.

"Hello," I say when I open the door. Patrick stands on the other side.

"Hi." It's awkward for a moment because neither of us knows what to say. His resemblance to Peeta is significant.

"Come one in," I say as I gesture inside. He smiles as he hurries past me.

"I just came to see if you wanted some company as you watched," he says as he motions to the television.

"Thanks. I was getting lonely." I slowly saunter to the couch. I sit and he sits next to me. It's a little awkward since my couch is really tiny. "Do you want anything to eat or something to drink?"

"I'm good, thanks."

We sit in silence as we watch. I must've been asleep for a while because it's already morning. "I'm sorry I look like a mess. I fell asleep late last night."

"I think you look beautiful," he says with a smile. I can't help but smile like an idiot.

"You don't look too bad yourself," I say, smiling. The conversation brings back memories of a conversation I once shared with Peeta. Tears fill my eyes, but I blink them back. Don't cry in front of him. Don't cry.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lie. He sees right through it. He pulls me into an embrace. I hug him back tightly. I don't care if I'm leading him on. I don't care if he thinks I like him. I just don't _care_ anymore.

The tears fall. "It'll all be okay," he coos. "He'll be back before you know it."

All I can do is nod. I pull away and wipe at my eyes. I'm embarrassed honestly. I barely know him. I stare at the television, and he does, too. I look at him, though, through my peripheral vision. He _has_ to be related to be Peeta.

"Hey," I say. He looks at me. I can't hold his gaze. "Are you by any chance related to Peeta?"

"Yeah," he says with a smile. "I'm his older brother."

"Oh. I thought you looked like him."

"Yeah," he says with another smile.

I stare at him for a good long while. He looks at me like I'm crazy and I am. "I'm sorry. You just look _so _much like him!"

"I get that a lot."

I stare back at the television. If Peeta doesn't come back, I could always live out my fantasy with Patrick. The thought pains me, but it's the truth. Patrick actually wants me. It feels good to be wanted for a change. I lean into his side, and he puts his arm around me. This is exactly what I wanted with Peeta.

I try to emerge myself back into the Games. Katniss is sawing a branch. Huh? The branch has a weird thing on it. Is that a tracker jacker nest? Crap. What is she doing? Trust her. I have to trust her. What is she trying to do? If that thing falls, it'll fall on…the Careers. It'll fall on Peeta.

Patrick has gone silent. She gets stung a couple of times. I hide my face into Patrick's side. He holds me tighter. The next thing I hear is screaming. I hear lots and lots of screaming.

I hear uneven running. I hear agonizing screams. I hear Patrick mumbling. I hear more screams. Screams that will haunt me tonight.

I remove my head from his side and glance at the television again. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine." He's quiet for a moment. "I wish that Seam brat would just die already," he murmurs. I pretend like I don't hear him. I'm sure he's just angry. I'm sure he didn't mean it.

Peeta is fine. He ran to the lake just in time. Katniss is fine. She retrieved the bow and arrow from Glimmer. Glimmer's body is beyond recognition. Two Careers died from the tracker jackers. Peeta's still alive and well. That's what really matters to me.

Cato gets out of the lake with his sword and stomps back into the forest. Clove asks where he's going.

"I'm going to show that stupid brat what she's messing with."

Peeta jumps out of the lake and sprints into the forest after Cato. He's faster than Cato. "What's he doing," Patrick asks. I don't think the question was meant for me. Peeta finds Katniss and screams for her to run. Katniss obeys and runs in the opposite direction. Cato is furious.

Peeta holds up his knife, but what is a knife going to do against Cato and his sword? Peeta tries to throw his knife at Cato, but it just hits him in the arm. Cato definitely has a lot of venom. He's off his game. Cato does manage to knock Peeta down, though. Peeta got a lot of bites, too. Cato smiles a sinister smile as he brings his sword down on Peeta's leg. Peeta cries out in pain. Cato looks at the cut and smiles even bigger.

"Is that painful? Oh, that's too bad." Cato kicks his leg and Peeta cries out again. "I could just kill you right now, but that would be merciful. That cut will kill you soon anyway." Cato laughs as he saunters away. "Oh, Peeta, you stupid boy."

"That's a really bad cut," I announce. I'm in shock. Peeta's dying. He's _dying._

"I gotta go," Patrick says quickly. He gets up and rushes to the door. "My dad's going to be a wreck." He's almost out the door when he pulls something out of his pocket. "Madge, uh, my brother wanted you to have this if he…you know…"

"Died," I squeak.

Patrick nods. Tears are streaming down my face. He looks at me for a long time. I get up from the couch and snatch the folded piece of paper from his hand.

"He's not dead," I choke out. "He's not going to die."

"Madge, did you see that cut," Patrick yells.

I cry harder. "He's going to be fine," I declare. I'm telling myself more than him. "He's going to heal." Patrick is shaking his head. "He will," I shriek.

"I gotta go." He's out the door and onto the street. I slam the door shut and sink to the floor. He's not Peeta. He's not Peeta. He's not my Peeta.

No one comes as usual. I have to comfort myself. Even Patrick left me. I'm used to it. When Peeta comes back he'll comfort me. He'll hold me. He'll tell me I'm beautiful. He'll love me. He'll be mine.

I scream and chuck the piece of paper away from me. When I calm myself down, though, I pick it up. Madge is neatly written on the front. I won't unfold it. He's not dead. He won't die. He'll be fine. He'll come home to me.

I pick myself up from the floor and lie back on the couch. I put the paper up to my nose. It still smells like Peeta. He always used to smell like the bakery.

I fall asleep that night with the paper clutched tightly against me.

A/N- What did you think? REVIEW, PLEASE! Eight more reviews and I'll review tomorrow!


	18. Insanity

A/N-THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! Ten more reviews, and I'll update tomorrow!

"Madge, get up," my father screams. I groan. I'm exhausted. "Get up!"

"Five more minutes!"

"No, you need to look decent!"

"Thanks," I say sarcastically. I roll over and accidently fall off the couch. "Ow." I smile mockingly at my father as I mosey to the bathroom. I take a cold shower and take a long look at myself in the mirror.

Instead of leaving my hair down, I braid it like Katniss. I find some old boots in the bottom of my closet and a plain pair of pants paired with a simple grey top. I look at myself long and hard. This is what Peeta wants.

Something is still missing. I still have the blue eyes and the blonde hair. I'll never be Katniss. I'll never have Peeta's heart. I rip the braid out in frustration. "Ugh," I scream.

"Madge, someone is here to see you." I don't answer. It's probably Patrick. "Madge, will you come down!" I ripped some of my hair out. Crap. I smooth it down the best I can. "Madge!"

"I'm coming! Jeez!" I rush down the stairs. "Who is-"

"Finally," my father sighs, unknown of my sudden pause. What is Gale doing here? Gale stands awkwardly by the door as if he is preparing for a quick escape. "I'll be back late." My father practically runs out the door.

"Hi," Gale says awkwardly.

"Hi." Let's just cut to the chase. I'm really not in the mood for company. Yesterday was rough with Patrick, the Games, the letter…

The letter! I totally forgot! I sprint to the couch. "Where is it," I mumble. I'm ripping the cushions out. I'm on my belly looking underneath.

"What are you doing?" I totally ignore him. Where could it be? I had it last night! I feel around, and squeak in surprise because I find a spider web. "Madge?"

"I have to find it!" I get up and shove the couch back. It barely moves. "Ugh," I tip over the couch, and it falls with a big bang. There it is! I pounce on it and hug it close to me. I'm not letting it out of my sight another second.

I glance at Gale, and he's staring at me with a bewildered expression. "What's that?"

"Nothing."

"Madge," he says as he takes careful steps toward me.

"It's mine," I nearly growl. He's not going to lay a finger on my letter.

"Madge, let me just see it."

"No!" I jump up and expand my distance from him. "Stay away from my letter."

"Jeez, Madge, I just want to see it," he says as he snatches the paper from me.

"Give it back!" He turns away from me, and maybe I am a little off, but I jump on his back. This takes him by surprise. I extend my arms and try to grab the paper back.

"Dear, Madge," he reads. I jump off of his back and slink to the floor. I put my hands on my ears and squeeze until I can't hear a thing.

"Don't read it! It's mine!"

He hands the paper to me all folded up with a glum look on his face. "I'm so sorry."

I grab it back harshly. "You should be."

"I'm sure he'll be fine. The cut will heal."

I start to tear up. "Katniss is fine, so I'm sure it's easy for you to say."

He surprises me by nodding. "You're right."

I look back at the couch. "I should probably put the couch back." I try to lift it, but it's so heavy. Gale helps me out, and we put it back the way it was. The television is turned on. It shows the recaps as always. I saw everything. I really don't want to watch Peeta with his…wound.

I sit on the couch silently as I watch. If this is the last time I'll see Peeta alive, I want to see it. I watch his face twist in pain. I watch his leg bleed. I watch him drag himself to the river. Gale has occupied the seat next to me.

We watch and we watch and we watch. I start to doze off at the end. I think Gale does, too. I must really be going nutty. I never act that way around Gale! Now he'll really think I'm bratty, and I don't blame him.

When I wake up, it doesn't feel right. It's very late. I was right. We both fell asleep. I'm afraid to move. We…moved in our slumber. His head somehow ended up right by mine. Oh, I forgot…I move a lot in my sleep. Oops. I'm staring right into his closed eyes. His arms are wrapped around my waist, and mine are wrapped around his neck. I'm so close to him. I'm afraid to move.

This Peeta thing is really messing with my head because I begin to have strange ideas. I begin to think about Cassidy. She kissed Gale. Katniss probably kissed Gale. All of the other girls at school probably kissed Gale. I'm the only one. I touch his face, and he barely moves. Hm. He's a hard sleeper. I lean in and gently plant a soft kiss to his lips. That was my very first kiss. I smile and lay my head gently back down. I just had my very first kiss. I smile bigger.

I fall asleep with a big grin planted on my face.

Gale is gone by morning.

A/N-Ooooohhhhhh, what did you think? REVIEW, PLEASE! Ten more reviews, and I'll update tomorrow!


	19. The letter

A/N-Sorry! I took a surprise trip to Galena! Um well I should be able to update more frequently because of the long weekend. REVIEW, PLEASE! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO DID! Eight more reviews and I'll review tomorrow!

I kissed Gale Hawthorne. That is the first thought that runs through my head as soon as I wake up. I really didn't kiss him I guess. I kissed him in his sleep. Why? Why did I kiss the hostile hunter who hated me a few weeks ago? Sometimes it still feels like he hates me. Why would I kiss _him?_

Gale ran away as soon as he could. Out the door just like that. What if he _was_ awake when I kissed him? I sit straight up. What if he was awake? What if he knew? What if I scared him away? What if he felt the same way?

What way? I think of him as an acquaintance. That's it. He's neither a friend nor an enemy. An acquaintance is a nice, safe word. The spot next to me is still a little warm. He must've just left. Why couldn't he have waited a little longer?

Whys plague my thoughts. I answer them evasively. My answers are either I don't care or I don't know. It's much easier this way.

I was crazy in my head last night. This whole thing with Peeta, and the letter, and Patrick is crazy. Everything is going wrong. Where is the letter anyway? I look under the couch first and find it immediately. I kiss it and lay it gently on the kitchen table. I want to read it, but I know I'll just break if I do. The thought of losing Peeta is unbearable. My world has to have Peeta.

I catch a glance of myself in the mirror. Wow, I look hideous. My feet carry me up the stairs to the bathroom. I take a quick shower. It's a cold one, but I personally like it better than a bath. Since I'm the mayor's daughter I do get to have a shower. The Capitol believes we need a shower to make ourselves look presentable and whatnot. Eh, I don't agree, but I also don't disagree because I get a shower.

My hair is soaking wet, but I don't care. I brush it out and get ready. I dress in comfortable clothes because I know today is going to be a rough day. Maybe Patrick will visit me today. Maybe Gale will come back. Maybe I'll be alone.

I check up on my mother, and she's asleep as usual. She looks peaceful. I sometimes wonder what she dreams about. Does she dream of happy things, or does she have nightmares? Does she miss me? Does she remember me in her morphling haze? I know I do.

I wait and wait for someone to come as I watch the Games on my tiny couch. It seems much smaller without someone sitting next to me. The Games aren't that much different than yesterday. Katniss is still sleeping, and Peeta is still in pain. Rue watches over Katniss, and I'm grateful for that. No one helps Peeta. No one looks for him. I wish it was me. I wish _I _was the one with the ghastly cut in my leg. I wish _I_ was the one with his pain. I wish _he _was the one in love with _me._

Sitting at home alone is excruciatingly boring. Everyone is always working except me. It makes me feel useless. I _want_ to clean the floors but God forbid I touch a broom. My father says that the mayor's daughter doesn't need to touch a broom and that I should be grateful. I do clean, though, when he's not home.

I ponder whether to stay home or to visit someone. I could visit the meadow. I decide to do that. I need a reminder of Peeta. I take the letter with me and stuff it in my pocket.

No one cares that I leave, and I don't bother to say that I am leaving. Maybe I'll bump into Gale or Patrick on my way. I know it's unlikely, but I try to stay positive. Maybe I wouldn't like to bump into Gale. It would just be awkward with Gale.

The meadow is strangely silent. I'm surprised that Capitol interviewers haven't swamped me yet. Eh, I don't really care. They're probably interviewing the Hawthornes, the Everdeens, and the Mellarks. Maybe the families didn't tell the interviewers that I'm Katniss' and Peeta's friend. I'm thankful. I really don't want to talk to _them._

I lie in the grass and stare at the beautiful sky. The grass is soft against my back. The letter feels like a weight in my pocket. I know I have to read it eventually. I want to read it, but at the same time I don't.

I just can't stand it. I carefully open up the crinkled piece of paper and am stunned by the utter perfection of his handwriting. It's so perfect. I never really knew.

The letter is also pretty long. I feel as if I'm not supposed to read it, but then I begin to think of what it could say. What did Peeta want me to know? I can't resist. I begin to read it.

_Dear Madge,_

_ Oh God Madge, where do I begin? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Madge. I didn't come back to you. I wanted to. Oh God, Madge, I'm sorry. I tried for you. I know I did._

_ Madge, I don't want you to shed a single tear for me. I lived a great life. Sure, I died at a young age, but that's okay. I didn't have some things, but I'm happy with what I did have. I had you, and that's more than I ever wanted._

_ Madge, I want you to know how beautiful you are. You are so very beautiful. I don't want anyone telling you anything else. You are beautiful, smart, funny, kind, generous, and that's just a small list of your many qualities._

_ I don't want anyone to mistreat you. You deserve so much better than what you think you deserve. I know you'll try and settle with less, but don't. Can you promise me that? It would make me feel a lot better. _

_ Can you check up on my family? I don't want them to worry, either. I tried to write them a letter, but it was just too painful. If Katniss dies, too…please make sure everything is okay with her family, too._

_ I'm grateful it wasn't you, though. No one deserves to go through this, but I can at least have a little peace knowing that you're okay. Make sure you take care of yourself. I asked my brother to make sure he checks up on you. I trust you, but I just want to make sure. _

_ I know you're going to watch the Games and think I'm a monster. I'm so sorry you have to see me like that. I know I'm going to kill. I know I'm going to be part of the Careers. It's already decided. I'm still the same Peeta, though. Trust me. I know it's hard to believe, but I promise you that I won't let them change me beyond repair._

_ I know you have a lot of questions, but I can only answer a few. I know you resent the Careers. I do, too, but I need to protect Katniss. They're going to try to kill her, and I'll do everything in my power to stop them. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer._

_ I know you're wondering about our relationship. I don't know exactly what we are. At first, I thought we were friends. Then, it grew into something more. I don't know what. I'm usually good with words, but I just can't explain it. I love you, but I don't know in what way. I don't know if I'm saying this because I'm scared, and I'm really not sure what I love you as. As a friend? A sister? A lover? I'm just confused. I'm very confused._

_ I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for your unanswered questions. I'm sorry for dying. I'm sorry about your mother. I'm sorry for the stupid people that give you a hard time. I'm sorry I'm not going to be there for you anymore. I'm so sorry. I really screwed up. Please forgive me. _

_Love, _

_ Peeta_

_P.S- I think about you all the time. Every time I look at the sun it reminds me of you with its golden color and its bright face. Then I think of how beautiful you are compared to the sun, and you win every time._

I break down crying because the sun always reminds me of him.

A/N-What did you think? So, Peeta's confused as well. REVIEW, PLEASE! Eight more reviews and I'll update tomorrow!


	20. A bad day

A/N-Thank you for all of the reviews! I really appreciate it! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! Nine more reviews and I'll update tomorrow. Thank you!

"Madge, what happened?"

Startled, I turn around to face a concerned Patrick. I've been crying in the meadow for God knows how long; my eyes must by bright red. My nose is running. My hair is disheveled. I can see why he would be so concerned.

My cheeks turn a little red as I try to smooth down my wild hair. "I'm fine," I lie. I turn back around and try to walk away. I don't like to feel vulnerable. Vulnerability is a weakness.

"Madge," he yells. He jogs to catch up to me. Can't he tell I don't want to talk? I don't want to be his charity case. Oh, crap. I'm sounding like Gale now.

He grabs my hand and I stop. I turn around to face his bright blue eyes that will never be as bright as Peeta's. We stare into each other's eyes for what seems like a long time. I eventually get embarrassed and look away again. I peek up at him, and he's still staring.

"I should probably get going," I say to break the silence. I know it's kind of rude, but I just want to go home. Actually, do I?

"It's still kind of early. Do you want to come to my house for some tea or something?"

Thoughts of my father and of my deathly ill mother fill my mind, but his witchy mother does, too. She honestly scares me. She is the one person on this earth that I am positive I truly hate. I hate her in every possible way.

"Is your mother home?"

Patrick shakes his head. "She won't be back till tomorrow afternoon. She went to her sister's house because she said that the house was too depressing for her. Sometimes that woman is too cruel. You would think she would be at least a little heartbroken that her son is pretty much dying."

"Okay," I say, ignoring the rest of his speech. Of course she isn't heartbroken. She's a heartless monster, and I'm sure Patrick would say that if she wasn't his mother. It's a surprise the Mellark boys managed to turn out so nice.

He leads me to his house. It's getting pretty late, and I'm sure someone has noticed my absence by now. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe no one cares about me anymore. I wouldn't be surprised.

Patrick holds the door open for me, and I slowly enter the bakery. The tiny bell rings. I'm overcome by the memories I have with Peeta here. For a second, I can imagine Peeta standing right behind the counter like he always used to with a big smile ingrained in his perfect face. I wish it was true. I wish he was here.

Patrick grabs my hand again and leads me up the stairs to his room. I spot Peeta's door and desperately want to go inside, but Patrick pulls me into his room.

It's awkward. It's very awkward. I don't know what to say or what to do. It was just so simple with Peeta. He understood me in a way no one else could.

"Do you want something to drink or anything?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

He takes his shoes off and sits on his bed. I do the same and take the spot next to him. I suddenly become nervous. What if he wants to kiss me or something? Crap. I don't feel that way about him. I don't think I do anyway.

"Thank you," I say. He stares at me.

"For what?"

"For everything."

"You don't need to thank me at all."

I smile at him, but I feel guilty. Does he think he's my boyfriend? I hope not. Say something, Madge! I can't think of anything, so I scan his room to give me something to do. His walls are pretty empty. His floors are perfectly clean.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I believe you already did." I laugh at my own joke.

He laughs, too. "Seriously, though. I know it's none of my business, but what were you and Peeta, anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"Where you guys friends? Dating?"

"I guess we were just friends. Really close friends." I wanted to be more than friends…

"Oh."

Why would he want to know? It's beginning to get very awkward. He's not like Peeta. He can't strike up a conversation like Peeta could. Man, he never ran out of topics, but I feel as if with Patrick we're always stuck in silence.

"Why?"

The simple question takes him by surprise. "Huh?"

"Did Peeta and I look like a couple?"

"Oh, I don't know," he says as he suddenly becomes interested with the floor. His cheeks turn beet red. "I don't know. I guess….I just…I mean…you two were just so close. I guess I always kind of assumed that you two were a couple, but then he said he likes Katniss on live television and yeah. I was just wondering."

"Oh." We fall back into silence. "So, do you have a girlfriend?" As soon as I say it I want to take it back. It's really a simple question to some, but it could also be a hint when examined closely. Dang, know he thinks I want him to ask me out. Crap, how could I be such an idiot!

"Nope, I used to, but she broke up with me." He thinks I like him now. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap-

My inner monologue is interrupted by another Mellark. He barges in without knocking or anything. "Hi, Pat-," he says, but is cut off by the sight of me. My cheeks burn red.

"Not now," Patrick says harshly. The other Mellark just smiles.

"Of course," he says. I can't remember his name off hand. Dang, it's on the tip of my tongue. He waggles his eyebrows at us. "You two kids have fun now." My cheeks burn even redder.

As soon as the door closes, Patrick shoots me an apologetic face. "I'm sorry. I didn't think he'd be home."

"It's fine. I probably should get going anyway." I get up and put my shoes on and am so close to making a clean getaway-

"Hey, Madge?"

Seriously? "Yes?"

"Will you go on a date with me? I know the first one really didn't count and all because of your father and all, but would you want to go on a real one?"

My face is away from him and toward the door, so he can't see my facial expression. That's good because I'm pretty sure it's not pleasant. "I don't know."

"I mean I won't make it too awkward like take you to a restaurant or something, but maybe-,"

"I'm sorry, Patrick," I interrupt him. I feel terrible, but he needs to know the truth.

"Are you serious?"

"What," I say loudly as I turn around to face him.

"I've been nice to you, I've been generous, and I've not been judgmental! I mean, Madge, I'm only asking for one date!"

"I barely know you! I didn't even know who you were until a couple of weeks ago!"

"I knew it."

"What?"

"You love Peeta." I don't respond. "Madge, Peeta may never be coming back. Did you realize that?"

"He's coming back."

"What if he doesn't?" Tears fill my eyes. His expression softens. "Madge, I didn't mean to make you upset." I storm out of his room. "Madge!" He follows after me. "Madge." He grabs my hand, but I forcefully yank it back.

"How dare you," I say straight to his face. "How dare you doubt your own brother!" My voice has risen into a shriek. I march away from him, but turn back to him one more time. "I know Peeta told you to check up on me, but don't come near my house. Don't come near me. I'm better off on my own." With that, I stormed back onto the street on my way home.

A/N- What did you think? Patrick should really watch his mouth. Hehe. REVIEW, PLEASE! Nine more reviews, and I'll update tomorrow!


	21. Secrets Revealed

A/N-Ten more reviews and I'll review tomorrow! THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE!

I'm lonely again. Patrick doesn't come to visit. He keeps his word. He doesn't even come near me. I don't know if I should be relieved or not. I regret saying those things to Patrick now.

Gale doesn't visit me either. I don't know why I expected him to. I don't even know if we're friends. Our relationship is very confusing. I don't mind his company, and I don't know where I'm going with this.

I debate whether to go to Patrick's house and apologize, but I really don't feel like it today. He's probably mad. I want to give him a couple of days at least to cool off. I think that's my best bet.

I just stay at my home and watch the Games. Katniss woke up. She meets Rue, and they become allies. It's a nice sight to see. The only bad thing is that one of them is eventually going to die. It's not that sweet anymore, is it?

Peeta remains in his deathly state. He's really scaring me. I will him to be strong for his family, for his friends, for me. I can't lose Peeta.

I can't remove my eyes from the television. Theo eventually tells me to visit someone and says that I'm too antisocial.

"Theo, you know I don't have any friends," I mumble.

"Oh, come on. You have to have at_ least_ one friend."

"Katniss and Peeta make two, but they're a tad busy if you haven't noticed," I explain, clearly irritated.

"Get out of the house. You've been cooped up too long. Go hang out with that Seam boy if you really must."

"Gale? I don't know. We're not even friends."

Theo rolls his eyes as he shoves me out the door. "Don't be out too late! Oh, what the heck. Go nuts. I don't really care."

I stare surprisingly at the now shut door. Did he just shut the door on me? Seriously? I jiggle the doorknob, but he locked it. I check in my pocket for the almost always present key, but it is nowhere to be found.

"Theo, let me in," I yell. Theo doesn't make a sound. "Theo!"

I groan in frustration as I begin to walk on the coal dusted streets. I mean I wasn't even home that long. Am I really that unbearable?

I really don't want to visit Gale after that awkward night, but I have to face him sometime. Hopefully he's in a good mood. My other option is Patrick, but I don't think I'm going to visit him for a long time.

I arrive at the Hawthorne house sooner than I would've liked. I could just go to the meadow again. Maybe Gale won't be home. I walk up to his house with more confidence. Maybe he'll be in the woods. Maybe he'll be on a date…

Before I can think it through, I knock on his door a little harder than I expected to. I shudder at the loud sound that I make. I squeeze my eyes shut and silently pray he's not home. He's not home. He's….home.

None other than Gale Hawthorne himself answers the door sluggishly. I smile faintly as my cheeks burn red at a rather embarrassing memory. My eyes lock on the ground.

"Hi," I blurt out. My eyes peek up at his emotionless features.

"Hey."

We have such a way with words, huh? Gale continues to stare. Memories continue to flow back to me from that awkward night and my cheeks turn even redder. I, of course, decide to break the interminable silence gracefully. Well, as graceful as a gazelle with a broken foot, as usual.

"I, uh, well, came to, well, uh..." Go away you stupid memories! "Well, you see…my butler, he, uh, locked me out. Leo, I mean, uh, crap," I laugh nervously. "_Theo_ said that I, uh, should get out of the house."

"So you came here."

I'm thankful he finished that train wreck for me. "Yes," I say gratefully. I should stick to one word replies.

I stare at him and instantly become frightened. He knows. That's the only thought that runs through my head. I want to run and hide, but I can't under his watchful gaze.

He leads me into his house without another word. It's strangely silent. I thought he had little brothers and a sister? Where are they?

"They went to visit Mrs. Everdeen and Prim," he answers simply. He's great at reading facial expressions. I nod and continue to follow him to his living room. He sits on the couch, and I take the seat next to him. It's a small couch. It might be even smaller than mine back home.

"How are you," I ask politely.

"Fine." We fall back in a terribly awkward silence. "Your boyfriend seems to be very protective of you," he says as he nearly spits out the word boyfriend.

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"Well, Patrick believes that you do. He pretty much told me that you were his girl."

"He asked me out, and I said no. End of story." I can see his expression visibly harden at the news.

"He's Peeta's brother, right?" I nod. "Go figure," he sighs.

"Huh?"

"What?"

"What the hell does 'go figure' mean?"

"It's obvious you hang out with that," he stops for a second. Oh, Gale, I _can_ hear you swear. I am not a small child. He starts again. "It's obvious you hang out with him because of Peeta."

"So not true!"

"Why else would you hang out with that piece of crap?"

"Maybe because I'm lonely," I say quietly. "I don't have many friends if you haven't noticed," I snap.

"Yeah, right. The mayor's daughter is lonely," he mocks.

I stand up so that I can get away from him. I won't storm out, but I just want to get some space away from him before I lose my head. Gale tends to do that to me.

"I thought we were done with that mayor crap! Gosh, Gale! It's always like this with you! I thought we were actually friends, but you proved me wrong time and time again!"

"Undersee, it's not my fault you practically come from royalty."

"You know what Gale? You're right. You're absolutely right. I am a stuck up, arrogant brat with loads of snobs I call friends. I'm just a terrible person, right? Am I getting it right now, Gale?" I'm burning with fury as I begin to yell at him again, but he interrupts me.

"Oh, yeah Undersee? What am I? That dirty Seam rat that won't leave you alone? Am _I_ getting it right now?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about Undersee," he yells, exposing his anger. His expressionless mask fades into pure unadulterated fury. "Oh, remember all those things you said? Do you remember Undersee?"

"What the hell…"

"Get out," he hollers at me. "Just get out of my damn house!"

"Fine," I scream back. I'm more confused than angry at the moment, but I try not to let my confusion show. "I didn't even want to come anyway," I mumble under my breath. I jog outside of the small house as Gale slams the door shut.

I stroll through the streets as I think of where everything went wrong. He was weird since he opened the door. What happened? What did I say? We didn't even talk much until he brought up Patrick…

Hm…he had a little chat with Patrick.

A/N-Patrick's starting lies, huh? REVIEW, PLEASE! Ten more reviews and I'll update tomorrow!


	22. Happily Never After

A/N-Don't worry! Peeta and Madge will date at least once! Thank you for all of the reviews! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! Eleven more reviews and I'll review tomorrow!

My fist slams against Patrick's door with all the force I can possibly muster. No one answers for a bit, so I slam my fist against the door again and again until the old wicked witch answers the door with an unpleasant face.

"What do you want," she asks with irritation. I do not cower under her hateful gaze. I stand up a little taller.

"Where's Patrick?" I match her tone of voice and her eyebrows shoot up for a fraction of a second in surprise, but they return to their normal position as fast as they shot up.

"Patrick," she hollers behind her. She strides away from me and into the back of the bakery. I don't know whether to stay outside, or if that was the signal for me to enter. I don't care, so I enter the bakery and smash the door behind me for good measure. I want to make it very clear to Patrick that I am furious.

Patrick slowly descends the stairs from his room and faces me with a blank expression. I have my arms crossed over my chest and my foot thumping impatiently on the wooden floor. My face must express how absolutely infuriated I am because he doesn't move from his spot on the stairs.

"We should probably do this outside," I warn. I make sure to look over at the door to the back of the bakery where the witch is located before exiting through the front door. He says nothing.

"Well…," he says as we stand a good distance from the bakery and away from the town. I look around me one more time to see if anyone will be hearing me yell and scream at him. The coast is clear.

"What the hell, Patrick," I scream as I shove his shoulder. The impact barely moves him. It's kind of embarrassing. I have to work on my strength.

"Wait, I can explain."

"Well," I say impatiently.

"Madge, I just wanted you to be my girlfriend."

"In order to win my heart, you thought it was a great idea to say I said terrible things about people in the Seam? Are you absolutely kidding me?"

"Madge, you don't understand."

"Patrick, do you know how hard it was for me to finally lose my snotty rich girl status?"

"Why do you care what he thinks of you anyway? Rumors are spreading like wildfire about you two."

"I wonder who started them," I mumble under my breath.

"Gale, is just a sullen boy from the Seam? What's so special about him?"

"He was Katniss' friend."

"Just because he was friends with your friend doesn't mean you have to be friends with him, too."

"I know. It's just…"

"He doesn't treat you right. He's had like a million girlfriends. You don't need him. I did you favor."

"I don't like you budding in on my life. It's my life not yours! Oh, and please for future reference, please don't screw my life up more than it already is!" I turn away from him and trudge back to my house as my steam wears off. Thanks, Patrick, for screwing my life up some more.

I enter my now unlocked house and immediately go to my room.

Rue and Katniss have a plan. I believe it is absolutely dangerous, but they both decide to go along with it anyway. I try to focus on Katniss and Rue because Peeta's condition is worsening. My poor Peeta.

Everyone is mad at me except Theo. I spend the day with him, and it's not that bad. We talk and we joke. We pretend not to notice what's playing on the screen.

"What's wrong with me," I ask out of the blue. He looks at me confusedly before speaking.

"You're too pretty, you're too smart, you're too kind, and you're too generous. Shall I go on?"

"Come one, I'm serious! Why does everyone hate me?"

"Don't you get it, Madge," he asks exasperatedly. "They're all jealous!"

"Yeah, right. I'm serious."

"I am, too. Why do you think those girls are always bring up the mayor's daughter thing? That's the only thing they can make fun of you with!"

I smile and nod, pretending to agree with him. "Thanks, Theo." He nods and smiles back. "What about Gale and Patrick? Why do they suddenly hate me, too?"

"They're just jealous that you aren't their girlfriend yet."

"Yet?"

"Oh, you know what I mean. Let me guess. They started fighting with each other over you."

"No, Patrick started fake rumors about me and told Gale. Now Gale hates me and I hate Patrick."

Theo laughs a little. "Isn't life funny like that? Making your life look like a disaster, but finally coming together at one point or another?"

"Eh, I sort've gave up that hope a long time ago."

"Oh, come one. Don't tell me you've never heard a fairytale?" My mom used to tell me all different kinds of fairytales right before I went to bed when I was a small child before she fell ill. The woman with the blue dress and the glass slipper was always my favorite.

"I've heard them," I admit, "but they're not true."

"That's absolutely right, but they are based off of real life."

"Huh?"

"Fairytales never start off with 'happily ever after'. They always start off with the hardships, and the betrayal, and the heartache. Every fairytale, though, eventually reaches a 'happily ever after'."

"I'm not a princess."

"That is true, but was Cinderella a princess at first?"

"Who?"

"You know the girl with the glass slipper and the ball…"

"Oh, yeah."

"Well, was she?"

"No."

"Neither are you, but you will be."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I don't mean you'll be one literally, but you'll find your prince and live happily," he pauses as if he expects me to finish the famous saying.

"Ever."

"After." We stop and just smile at each other. "Now you just have to pick your prince because I know two that are already are applying for the job."

My cheeks turn red.

"Oh, shut up."

A/N- I like Theo. Do you? Eleven more reviews and I'll review tomorrow! THANKS EVERYBODY! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE!


	23. Scared

A/N- Hey! Thanks for the reviews! REVIEW AGAIN, PLEASE! Fifteen more reviews and I'll update tomorrow!

Rue is dead, and it's a sad day for everyone. The little girl was so small and innocent. No one wanted to see her go. Katniss was devastated by the loss, and I don't blame her at all.

I bet Katniss thinks this whole thing is her fault, but it's not. She really tried to protect Rue, but she just couldn't get there fast enough.

The only good thing, though, is that Katniss never has to kill Rue. I'm positive she never would've, but at least it didn't come down to the two of them. That would've been terrible. Katniss wouldn't have killed her, though. She would've figured something out. She always does.

I try to sleep that night and get the image of Rue out of my head. I keep seeing her dying. I keep seeing that spear impale her tiny stomach. I keep seeing all of the blood.

"Katniss is still alive," I murmur to myself. "Peeta is still alive," I whisper to the darkness. "Katniss and Peeta are still alive. Katniss and Peeta are still alive. Katniss and Peeta are still alive." It becomes a chant for me.

The next morning is as lonely as the previous day. Theo has a list of chores to do, and he won't let me help with any of them. I sigh.

"Why don't you go visit someone?"

"They all hate me, remember?"

"Oh, come on. They're over it by now."

"Theo, I'm not going anywhere."

"You're not getting any younger."

I almost do leave the house. Almost.

"Madge, someone is at the door for you."

I quickly fix my hair while sauntering down the stairs to greet my company. It's Gale. He's holding a pail of strawberries. Go figure.

"I have to go check up on Mrs. Undersee," he says while winking in my direction. I roll my eyes at him.

"Hi," I greet Gale.

"Hey."

We stand there in silence, not knowing what to say or where to begin. Gale holds the pail of strawberries awkwardly as I think of something to break the ice. I come up with nothing, so I decide to address the topic on hand as I retrieve the strawberries silently and put the money in his hand.

"You know I didn't say those things, right," I ask as I put the strawberries away. I'll eat them later.

Gale takes a deep breath before answering my question. "Madge, it doesn't really matter."

"Yes it does, Gale! Patrick said all of those things about me because he was mad at me! Don't you see?"

"Madge, it doesn't matter," he stresses.

"Gale, I'm telling the truth. Why don't you believe me?"

"Everything Patrick said is true about me anyway. It's fine."

"Gale, it's not true. Patrick had no right saying those things about you." I take a step closer to him. Gale does not back away. "You know I wouldn't say anything to harm you."

"I know," he sighs. "I was stupid. I shoulda known."

Another awkward silence falls over us. When in doubt, serve drinks! "Do you want anything to drink?"

"I'll just have water." I nod and rush to the kitchen as he follows. I don't do well with people watching me. I'm always afraid I'll mess up something, and then I always do. Pretend Gale isn't there. Pretend he isn't watching me closely.

I grab a cup and place it under the faucet. It spurts out cold water. I place another cup under the faucet and fill that one up, too.

"Here you go," I say to Gale as I hand him his drink. He nods. I learned that nodding means thank you. I don't know why he can't just say the two tiny words.

I lean against the counter while I sip my water, and he does the same. He chooses the spot right next to me. We're very close to each other.

"Let's sit on the couch," I say loudly and abruptly. My voice scares the both of us a little bit. I scurry to the couch and sit down quickly. He follows in suit and sits right next to me. This stupid couch is too tiny.

That's when the Capitol makes an announcement. I don't believe my ears. Two people can win if they're from the same district? Seriously! Oh my gosh! I squeal a little as I wrap Gale in a surprise embrace. I hear Katniss yell Peeta's name once.

Gale slowly returns the hug, but it's awkward. I didn't think this one through. I slowly remove myself from his arms and look into his eyes. I'm about to apologize when I realize something is different. I think Gale feels it, too.

My arms are still wrapped around his neck as we gaze into each other's eyes. I don't know what we look for, but we just stare. His steel grey eyes bore into mine. Neither of us looks away.

I feel Gale lean in just a tad, but it's enough to wake me up from my haze. I immediately remove my arms from his neck, and this startles him a little bit. "What great news," I burst out with too much enthusiasm.

He nods his head, looking just as confused as I feel. We watch the rest of the Games in silence. I keep thinking about what just happened. Was he going to kiss me? No, he was probably getting situated. Maybe he was going to hug me again. Maybe he leaned by accident.

It didn't look like an accident.

Why did I extract my arms so quickly? Why didn't I wait a little longer to see what he was going to do? It would've been a lot easier.

I was scared.

Why didn't I just let him kiss me if he really wanted to? It wouldn't hurt. It's just one kiss. It's not the end of the world. We would see if we had any chemistry. It would be a good thing.

I don't want to be another one of his girls.

I cannot fall for Gale Hawthorne. He's sullen, he's a player, and we're from two different worlds. How would we ever be able to deal with all of our differences? How would our relationship work?

Maybe I already fell for him…

Peeta better come home soon.

A/N- REVIEW, PLEASE!


	24. Things left unsaid

A/N- Hi! Thank you for all of the reviews! REVIEW, PLEASE! By the way, I skipped a whole bunch. I skipped the actual rest of the Games because-

1) You probably know the books by heart

2) I really don't feel like pretty much rewriting the whole thing in a different perspective

Don't worry; there will be flashbacks about what happened during that time…

My beige dress flutters in the breeze as I tap my foot nervously. I know _he's_ looking at me. I can feel Gale's eyes staring at the back of my head. I don't look back. He broke my heart in a way that cannot be fixed.

_It was an ordinary day really. Gale and I had been getting along wonderfully. He decided that he could finally take me to the woods. I knew this was big. He was letting someone else into his world. I understood how important this was in our friendship._

My thoughts cannot get off the topic of Gale, even though I really want them to. Patrick slips into my mind momentarily, but Patrick and I are done. After that whole dating episode, we never made up. There are words left unsaid. Unspoken feelings we would've really liked to get off of our chests…

_He showed me how to wiggle underneath the fence, and I did it with complete clumsiness. Gale had the decency to try not to laugh, but that didn't last long. It was pretty funny that my pants got caught on the edge of the fence. _

My foot stops its restless tapping as I begin to shift my weight from one foot to the other. I fiddle with my hands as I wait for the train. I finally get to see Peeta again. I knew he would make it out! I _knew_!

_Gale showed me the different plants. He showed me his snares, which impressed me thoroughly. He showed me his bow and arrow. I joked around, and he laughed at my lame jokes. We eventually came to rest on an old log. It was small, so we were pretty squished together. My heart started to beat faster and faster. I finally began to realize how handsome he was…_

The train should be here any minute now. I have no clue what to say. Peeta will probably initiate the conversation first. That's a relief. I can always count on him. I quickly glance over my shoulder at the Mellarks. Patrick stares back at me with a longing. His eyes look apologetic. I immediately avert my gaze back to the ground. I don't want to get caught back up with him. It was hard enough the first time.

_Gale looked into my eyes, and it gave me butterflies. We stayed like that for a long time. I felt guilty for judging him wrongly all of these years. He leaned in close, and I leaned in closer. Our lips almost touched…_

"Madge," Delly calls my name. I turn around and wave back at her. She skips over to where I stand, and we share a pleasant conversation. We discuss normal topics like the weather and school. I miss the things Gale and I used to talk about. He was never afraid to speak his mind, and I strived to be like him in that respect.

_A bird squawked, and it squawked so loud that it scared the townie and the hunter. That takes some skill. Gale looked embarrassed, but I was just as embarrassed as he was. I didn't know what to do at that point. I did the bravest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I leaned in without thinking and pressed my lips to his._

Delly and I wait in silence for the train. I hear something in the distance, and we both get excited. We were both close friends with Peeta. I honestly wonder why I never was jealous of her at one point. She hung out with Peeta a lot. I guess I trusted Delly. I trusted Gale, too, but that didn't work out so well.

_I could instantly tell that he was surprised by my actions. He didn't seem like he didn't enjoy it, but he was surprised. He had cradled my face ever so gently, and I had wrapped my arms around his neck. I could tell he was experienced, but I was not. I've only practiced kissing on an old teddy bear. This was way different than kissing a teddy bear. _

The train slowly pulls up, and we both break out into cheers, the whole district. I've never seen District 12 so happy. I try to spot Peeta and Katniss, but there are some rather tall people in front of me. I wish I had gotten a better spot. I do spot Katniss, and she's…holding Peeta's hand. I really don't need _that_ right now. Every time I see them acting like a couple, it's like a slap to the face. "That's what we could've been," I think every time.

_When Gale and I broke apart, I couldn't help but smile. My first kiss couldn't have been better. I never knew kisses had flavors, but apparently they do. This one tasted like the strawberries we had earlier. Strawberries are my favorite. Like I said, it couldn't have been better._

Peeta scans the crowd and I scream his name and wave my arms. Delly waves, too. I know I'm loud, but people will let my manners slide. They all know how close I was to him before…you know what happened. Peeta spots me in the crowd, and his face lights up. He waves back with a big grin on his face. My mouth manages to twist upward. He still has that same smile…

_ Gale grinned, too, but his was more controlled. He was always controlled around me. No matter what, he always had some guard up. My question is why? Does he really not trust me enough to let his guard down once? The thought pained me, it still does, but I didn't think too much about it at the time. It would ruin the moment. I should've been the one with her guard up. _

Katniss and Peeta stand there waving at us with immense smiles gracing their faces. They finally look genuinely happy for once. I can't wait to just run up to them and wrap them in embraces. Prim is with Gale, so I might be greeting Katniss later. I'm happy _he_ isn't that fond of Peeta. I won't have to run into Gale for another day, but it's not like he wants to see me either. The name still brings back some pain. I'll just call Gale _him._ I won't have to use his name and all of the emotions that come with it.

_I decided to flirt with him, and I knew that was a bad idea. It seemed right in the heat of the moment, though. "You're not a bad kisser, Hawthorne," I said, gnawing on my lip. I regretted it as soon as it left my lips. Gale raised his eyebrows. He let a small chuckle escape from his lips. My cheeks turned a vibrant red._

_ "What's that supposed to mean," he had asked. It's like he was teasing me. My cheeks turned a brighter red as I stared at the ground._

_ "Oh, Gale, don't make me explain," I pleaded. He laughed a little more. _

_ "So, you think I'm a good kisser," he asked as he wiggled his eyebrows. That was one of the only times I saw his resolve waver, the one time it looked like he was finally unguarded. I felt a twinge of accomplishment. _

_ "Oh, just kiss me," I said confidently. I honestly had no idea where that came from. He smiled a little bit, and I could tell his guard was back. I had to remind myself that he'll open up eventually. As our lips touched once more, that was my hope. I hoped he would open up to me. I had opened up to him. It only seemed fair, right? _

_ Well, he never did. _

Peeta and Katniss come down into the crowd of people. I shove myself through everyone, leaving Delly behind. She'll understand. I see people patting them on the backs, some people feel obliged to say something to them, and there are the people that leave as soon as they can. I don't care because every person gone is one less person between Peeta and I. Katniss broke away from Peeta to join her own family. Peeta is on his way to his own family, but then he sees me again. It feels surreal. We lock eyes, and I run to him. He tries to, but his leg is making it difficult. The thought pains me.

_Gale walked me home like a gentleman. We held hands, and everything seemed so perfect. I almost felt guilty considering Peeta, but he was with Katniss. I should have some happiness, too. We just kissed. Not like Peeta and Katniss. Peeta and Katniss established so much more, and it hurts, honestly. So, no, I did not feel guilty at all. _

I purposefully slow down before I ram right into Peeta. My arms fling around him as does his. Tears of joy tumble down my pale cheeks. "Peeta," I cry. "Oh, Peeta, I missed you so." Doesn't it sound poetic?

Peeta holds onto me tightly. "I missed you, too," he says with a smile evident in his voice.

"I was so afraid I was going to lose you," I whisper.

"I'm not going anywhere."

I just hope he keeps his promise.

_Gale had stopped outside my front door. I had asked if he would've liked to come in, but he declined. I planted one quick kiss to his cheek before entering my house. I don't know where I had gotten all of this courage. _

_ He had promised me he would come again tomorrow._

_ You know what? He never came._

I didn't let go of Peeta for a long time. I did not want to let go of something I almost lost. I would not lose him again. I love him.

_I had gone to Gale's house, and Mrs. Hawthorne had answered the door. I asked if Gale was home. I wanted to believe that he forgot, but if there's one thing I know about Gale, he doesn't forget. She had a weird look on her face. She called Gale's name over her shoulder, and he had ambled into the room. He had a pained look on his face, but he wiped it clean as soon as he laid eyes on me. _

_ I did not understand why he was pained at the time, but I understand a little too perfectly now._

Peeta makes no effort to remove me from his arms, so I don't move. I bury my head into his neck. It's a comforting position for me. I feel safe in his arms. His arms are my safe haven. It felt like I spent hours wrapped in his arms, but it was probably only minutes before his family asked if they could borrow their son for a minute. I laugh and apologize for hogging the Victor.

_His mother left us alone. She probably sensed the tense atmosphere. Gale led me outside, and that's when I knew I should worry. "Listen," he had started off, "I know we kissed and all, and it was nice, but do you honestly believe we could ever be together?" He said it like it was some kind of sick joke._

_ "What are you talking about," I asked, obvious confusion laced in my voice._

_ "It's better to end whatever we had right now before we lie to ourselves anymore."_

_ "If this is a joke, it's not funny."_

_ "Goodbye, Madge." Those were the last words he had spoken to me before he trudged back to his front door. _

_ "Gale," I had yelled. He had turned just in time to see the first tear roll down my cheek. He showed no expression as he opened the door to his home and went inside, leaving me alone. "I thought you were different," I whispered to the door._

_ I went home, feeling empty once again as more tears ran down my cheeks. _

I watch Peeta hug his family members. They are all so ecstatic to see him. Even Mrs. Mellark seems pretty happy. That's _very_ unusual for her. I can't help but glance toward _him_, and I find him staring at me with a vacant expression. I stare into his eyes for a second more before I look away. I peek at him, though, out of curiosity. He has returned his attention back to Katniss. He smiles at her, looking happy. Why isn't he like that with me? Why do I bring out the vacant expressions? Why is he different with me than with Katniss?

As I go with Peeta's family to their house to celebrate, only one thought crosses my mind.

Why am I not good enough for him?

A/N- I'm sorry I haven't updated for a long time, but it's been tough. I gave you a long chapter, though, so hopefully I'll be forgiven. This will turn into Gale/Madge romance, but Madge/Peeta romance will also be thrown in there. She's confused about her feelings, and Peeta has been out of the picture for a long time. They need to catch up… A kiss will definitely be involved. Gale also messed up, so let's see how that turns out. Tell me your thoughts! Questions are always welcome! (I promise I won't bite)


	25. Broken

A/N-I know I haven't updated in forever. Don't get mad, please! I will update more often! REVIEW, PLEASE (no negative comments, please)! Well, here goes nothing.

Thoughts race through my head as I make my way to Peeta's house. My pale blue blouse flutters in the wind, and my dark pants cling to my legs. I made sure to wear my simple pair of black shoes. I fiddle with my fingers as I near Peeta's new house…in Victor's Village.

My mind just won't shut up. I begin to worry about everything, but I have to remind myself to breathe. Peeta always did say I was such a worrier. He is so right.

Before I know it, Peeta's house is right in front of me. I saunter to his front door and freeze. I begin to remind myself to breathe again. Why am I so nervous today?

My fist clenches, and I knock erratically. Way to be smooth, Madge. Peeta opens the door with a smile nonetheless.

"Hey," I breathe out the word. A smile has overtaken my face. I knew I was worried for nothing.

"Hey," he replies. He motions for me to enter, and I do. This is not the first time I've been in his house, but its extravagance still surprises me.

"How have you been," I ask.

He shrugs. "I've been better," he replies. "You?"

"I'm fine," I lie. "I'm broken," I want to whisper, but I don't.

"Would you like something to eat," he asks.

"Sure." He leads me to the immense kitchen filled with all of the latest technology.

As he scans the kitchen for something to eat, I look through his kitchen. I look at the fancy countertops and the fancy cabinetry all the way from the Capitol…

"Hey, would you like some pudding?"

"Sure," I reply as I continue examining his kitchen. I glance back at Peeta who looks very cute at the moment as he bends down to grab the pudding from the fridge.

Peeta hands me a bowl of the creamy substance and I thank him. "I forgot to give you a spoon," he observes as he stares at the bowl in my hand. He goes in one of his drawers and digs out a shiny spoon. I do notice, though, that he doesn't have a single knife in his drawer. He just has spoons and forks. The observation confuses me.

"Why don't you have any knives," I ask, puzzled.

Peeta hands me the spoon and slowly closes his drawer. He develops a strange look on his face that I don't recognize. "Knives are dangerous," he mumbles.

"Peeta, that's silly," I say.

"Is it," he yells. His sudden outburst surprises me as I take a step back. He sees the fear on my face as we stare into each other's eyes. "I'm so sorry," he says sincerely. He tries to take a step near me, but I take another step back unconsciously. I remain mute, scared to make him yell again. "Madge, I really am sorry."

"It's fine. Just surprised me is all," I answer. "Thanks for the pudding," I say to change the subject. I eat a spoonful to have something to do. The atmosphere is awkward as he leads me to his living room. I sit on the couch next to him. I'm furious with myself. All of this could've been avoided if I had avoided the stupid conversation about the knives.

"How's life in this big house. Are you lonely?" His face is blank as he shrugs his shoulders.

"Sometimes I miss my family, but I was bound to move out eventually," he responds.

"Oh," I spit out. I don't know how to respond. We sit in awkward silence. It was never like this. We used to laugh and joke around. We would smile and enjoy each other's company. Where did that go? Where did Peeta go?

"How's your mother," he asks.

"Fine," I lie again. I eat some more of my pudding until it's all gone. I put it on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"I'm going to use the restroom. I'll be right back," he says as he gets up from the couch. He climbs the stairs and begins to amble to the bathroom at the end of the hallway.

"Ok," I call up to him. I wince at how delayed my reply was, but Peeta should be used to it by now.

After Peeta has been gone for a bit, I become bored. I begin to observe his house in greater detail. I notice a painting that must be new that now hangs on one of the walls. I don't know how I missed it.

The painting is of fire, an interesting choice for a painting. I see many strokes of reds and oranges. I look over at the stairs, but it doesn't look like Peeta is coming down anytime soon, so I examine the painting some more. As I take a closer look, it doesn't seem like it's just of fire…trees are on fire.

The heavy strokes of red, orange, and yellow make it hard to see the trees. There are, though. The scene is actually pretty horrific as I examine even more closely. I begin to see tiny animals running for their lives. I see a girl. Her hair is in a braid. She runs behind the animals, also fleeing. Realization hits. Katniss, that's Katniss.

That's when the Game makers set the arena on fire. I frantically look at other pictures placed in this room. I look at one of a tree. It seemed innocent enough. I hadn't paid close attention to it until now. I begin to make out the shape of a camera hidden in one of the wrinkles of the trunk.

I take a look at another painting. It's a hand cradling…berries. It's a picture of Peeta holding Nightlock. How did I never notice? His house is filled with these horrific paintings.

"Peeta," I yell. He has taken a long time. I go up the steps and jog down the hallway to the bathroom. "Peeta," I say more softly as I reach the door of the bathroom. I don't hear a reply. I put my ear to the bathroom and hear the sink running. What the heck? I open the door slowly, and I am stunned by what I see.

Peeta hovers over the sink scratching at his hands until they bleed. "Peeta," I say horrified as I watch his blood trickle down the drain. Peeta doesn't even acknowledge me. "Peeta, stop," I demand. He doesn't stop his consist scratching. I rush over to him and turn the water off. He still keeps scratching at himself.

"Blood, there's blood all over my hands," he mumbles over and over again.

"You're making yourself bleed. That's why! Now please stop," I say desperately.

"Their blood is on my hands. Their blood is on my hands," he repeats over and over. I take my hands and put them over his bloody ones to try and stop his scratching. He does as he stares blankly at our hands.

"See? Isn't that better," I say, trying to not show him how much he's scaring me.

"I could kill you, you know," he says blankly. My eyes go wide, but I don't move.

"But you wouldn't," I whisper, scared.

"I could, though, and I could get away with it. I'm a Victor. The Capitol needs there Victor," he mumbles. "Am I correct?"

"I guess," I whisper, trying not to show how terrified I actually am.

"Are you afraid?"

"Huh?"

"Are you afraid I'll kill you? I've done it before. I've had experience," he says with an odd expression gracing his features.

"No," I say confidently. He shakes his head. "Peeta, you had to kill the other tributes. It wasn't your fault. The Capitol made you."

"That's not true," he mutters, suddenly becoming angry. "The Capitol put the knife in my hand; I didn't have to throw it. I didn't have to kill! I chose to!"

"Is that why you don't have knives in your house," I ask, realizing this was the worst time to ask.

"I was afraid to hurt someone. I was afraid to hurt you, Madge! If I can't trust myself, how can you trust me?"

"You would never hurt me," I say as I take a step to him. I am still holding onto his hands, and I can feel them clench.

"Madge, don't."

"You would never hurt me," I repeat as I take another step towards him.

"How can you be so sure?"

"You care about me too much," I answer. I gaze into his pained eyes for a long time.

I begin to clean his hands, but he doesn't say anything. The blood pours down the drain. He hurt himself pretty bad. The thought of Peeta doing this to himself pains me in ways I cannot explain.

"Why are you doing this," he asks quietly.

"Because I love you. I've lost you once, Peeta. I am not going to lose you again."

A/N-Yeah, so Peeta is a poor wreck. He gets better, though. More Gale next chapter. REVIEW, PLEASE!


	26. All alone

A/N-I know I'm seriously a terrible person for not updating as often as I would like, but I'm trying to figure out where this story is going to go. Plus, school's been a real pain in the butt. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story! You are the reason I keep writing! :) As always, please review! I want to hear what you have to say Oh and I just wanted to say that I LOVE YOU GUYS! 3

Nothing is more terrible than the feeling of getting rejected. I feel worthless. I feel used. I feel like I could never, no matter how hard I could ever try, be better than Katniss. These thoughts plague me at every waking moment of the day. The worst part of it all, though, is being alone. I am so utterly alone.

Peeta doesn't know the demons I face during the day. He doesn't know the thoughts that are always in my head. He doesn't know how broken I am. I will never tell him. I don't ever want to fill his mind with my problems when he has so many problems of his own.

My very own father doesn't care about me, either. He's never home, and he never speaks to me when he is. We have grown more distant, farther and farther apart. Sometimes I think I disappoint him. Sometimes I think he just didn't want to have a child. Either way, I am not loved.

My mother is gravely ill. She could die at any moment. The mere thought of my beloved mother dying is too much to bear. I shouldn't be so selfish. She is in so much pain. Death should bring her long awaited comfort. Oh, I forgot. I'm selfish, too.

The maids and the butlers don't genuinely care for me. They are paid to be kind to me. Sometimes I wonder, though, about Theo. I know I could never ask him. I wonder if it was real: all of those serious talks, the jokes, the crying, those silly moments. They could all just be a lie, a painful lie.

Katniss is too busy. She's too busy hunting. She's too busy being with Gale. She's too busy being a big sister to Prim. She's too busy to realize that my life is falling apart.

My thoughts keep racing as I turn over in my warm bed. I think of the same things every morning. I know I should get up and get moving. I have school today, since it starts back up after the Hunger Games are over. I'm probably already late. I just want to lie in bed and think about my sad, pathetic life.

It is pretty obvious that I will not be attending school today, and the thought makes me a little bit nervous. I could go to Peeta's house. I know that would make me feel better. We could talk and goof off just like the old times that I crave to relive. I might slip, though. My sad demeanor might show. He might ask me what's wrong. The thought scares me. How can I explain what I'm going through? What if he thinks I'm a drama queen? What if he thinks the labels are true? I won't dare go there, not today.

Lazily, I stumble out of the bed. I almost trip over my own feet. I sluggishly trudge to the bathroom. I brush my gold curls that I wish to be brown. I put some makeup on my pale skin that I long to be tan. I stare at myself in the mirror for a long time. I stare into my blue eyes that I desperately want to be brown. I look at all of my flaws. I look at all of the things that no one could ever find attractive. No wonder both Gale _and_ Peeta prefer Katniss over me. It was my mistake to think differently.

My thoughts slow as I see the face in the mirror. She looks like she's about to break down in tears at any given moment. I'm not that girl. I'm strong, I'm brave, I'm…oh who am I kidding? I am that girl.

My feet echo in the hallway as I make my way back to my room. I open up my closet and gaze at my clothes. I pick out a simple black top that pops against my pale skin. I wear skintight jeans that are a tad too long on me. I wear some old gym shoes of mine. I know where I'm going to go.

My stomach ties in knots as I jog to through the quiet streets. It's much quieter without the children running around, so my stride sounds so much louder. I am so nervous I'll get caught. Theo didn't catch me, but that doesn't mean someone else didn't see me. Then again, what do I have to lose?

My jog slows as I reach the meadow. Memories of Peeta and I come coursing back. I don't think about them that much, though. I have a destination in mind. I can't get distracted.

The gate seems more intimidating without Gale here to protect me from what lies beyond. I take a few more steps to get closer to it. I keep quiet and listen for the electric hum Gale warns me about. I don't hear anything, but that could be because of my heart pounding so hard in my ears. I take a deep breath and locate the hole in the fence that I have to squeeze myself through. I find it and saunter closer to it. I take another deep breath and wiggle underneath. I get through the hole easily because I'm so tiny.

Once I'm on the other side, I get even more nervous. I start to run. That is one of the worst possible things I could have possibly done, but I'm really not thinking. The scenery is absolutely beautiful. It's like nothing I've ever seen before. No wonder Gale and Katniss like to come here.

My thoughts slow and I just focus on running. I run and run until I can't run anymore. I sit on a log nearby and try to catch my breath. I begin to observe my surroundings and realize that I have no clue where I am. I have no clue how I got her. I have no idea how to get back. Crap.

A/N-Review, please!


End file.
